Like Valentine's or St. Patrick's day (the latter of which she'd celebrated once in college), New Year's Eve was the sort of holiday that was only fun if you had plans, people to spend it with.

Maris rarely bothered with it, often ending up in bed before the ball dropped only to wake up annoyed by fireworks and commotion at midnight. She'd taken Rory out the year they first got together, but neither of them had much fun. The restaurant they choose had been crowded and the food they waited forever for arrived cold.

After spending the holidays with their families, Maris found herself longing for a nice, quiet night in with Rory before winter break was over, but it seemed wrong to let New Year's completely pass her by.

All things considered, it had been a good year. The fact that it had brought them back together trumped any sort of unpleasantness and all the bumps on the road to get there.

She may not have been doing much for the holiday, but Maris did pick up a treat (a chocolate chip cheesecake that was currently chilling in the fridge) and a present (the Nina Simone record she'd managed to track down for their dance party) for Rory to mark the occasion.

Taking their promise to keep things low key to heart, Maris was sporting the pajamas Rory's mom had given her for Christmas as she walked into the living room, drinks in hand.

She kissed Rory's temple before handing her a glass of wine, then took a sip of the whiskey she'd poured herself.

"Who even hosts the ball drop anymore? I can't remember the last time I watched it," she murmured, picking up the remote control to find something on tv.

Perhaps in her youth, Rory had been more inclined to be coerced into going out for an event like New Year's Eve. She could get dressed up and put on some obnoxiously uncomfortable shoes, go to a party with a bunch of drunk friends (and people she didn't know), suffer through bad music and sometimes okay conversation, maybe get a little tipsy herself and, on more than one occasion, makeout with some stranger at midnight and then be annoyed at herself for it. A woman to kiss on NYE should not have fallen under the category of "closest to me" and she would forever be grateful that she was decidedly past that certain phase of her life.

This was a million times more her speed, and even was back then - though she wouldn't have admitted to it in her twenties. Even her last New Year's had been spent out, and it hadn't been the night that she would have wanted. For many reasons, looking back now. No, the idea of spending a night with Maris was exactly what Rory wanted any night, but it felt particularly good tonight. She too wore the pajamas her mother had given her, but just the bottoms. She couldn't abide that particular pattern for much more than that, so she paired it with a white camisole and her softest sweater.

Rory had currently been wishing the remote was closer to her so she wouldn't have to get up to mute the annoying host on the TV, when Maris with her perfect timing cut in. "I think it depends on which channel ... but so far they are all awful. I like Anderson Cooper fine, but they paired him with Andy Cohen this year and I just cannot." She made a face, taking the glass Maris handed her before thanking her with a soft kiss to her cheek.

"I am also struggling to figure out who decided that the drop of a ball was supposed to be signifying of a new year? It seems really random when you take it out of the 'this is just what we do' context." She shrugged slightly, leaning comfortably into Maris as she spoke. Her free arm draped over her lap, a small smile on her face as she sipped at her wine. "Now if only they'd have done some 'Live from Shibden Hall' NYE special ... I'd be into that."

"They can't do a live from Shibden! Anne and Ann are on their honeymoon right now. It'd be far too risque." Maris grinned, nudging Rory playfully. "Then again, you'd be into that too."

She pressed a kiss to the curve of Rory's neck then sighed once she'd cycled through all her countdown options. "Well, I'd say we should watch a movie but we already talked about how there aren't any of those for New Year so..." She turned off the television, tossing the remote to the other side of the couch. "I guess we'll have to entertain ourselves."


She pressed a few more kisses to her girlfriend's neck, knowing deep down that just this, sitting together in total silence would have been enough to keep her content.

But Rory wasn't the only one who liked a good plan and Maris was glad she'd come up with more to do than just sit around watching people with microphones freeze their butts off in her home state.

She got up and crossed the room, carefully sidestepping Byron, who as always, was eager to trip her by getting right under her feet. She slipped the record she'd bought out of it's sleeve and onto her turn table, smiling as it crackled to life.

She headed back over to the sofa and held out her hand as My Baby Just Cares For Me began to play. "I didn't know exactly which Nina you wanted so I figured a greatest hits would do for now," she said as she pulled Rory to her.

"Are you saying I like my porn in regency lesbians only? Well, Georgian really. And that's on brand, actually." Rory made a face, rambling getting away from her as it tended to do, but all with a silly smile on her face.

Rory nodded, leaning into Maris' embrace and the kisses she pressed to her neck. Maris always made her feel warm, a kind of thrill racing up her spine. "And we can't just watch some non New Year's movie. It wouldn't suit us at all." She slid one arm around Maris, craning her neck just a little to encourage the way Maris kissed her. "Oh no, we're really terrible at finding suitable entertainment."

But as soon as Maris shifted to get up, Rory was huffing a little sigh, her hair moving out of her face from the force of it. She dragged her fingers through her hair as she sipped at her wine, all the while a narrowed, curious look on her face as her gaze followed Maris around the room.

Nothing could have stifled the huge grin that spread across her face as soon as Nina's rhythm filled the room. "Oh babe, you didn't." She was still grinning as she put down her wine and hopped off the couch, easily melting into Maris' arms. She kept one hand in hers as the other one slid around her back finding a spot there. "This is a good one." She chuckled, holding Maris close as she started to move with the beat of the song.

"Course I did," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're here all the time, you need some records in the pile too." Maris hooked a finger under Rory's chin so she could tip it up and get a better look at her. "Besides," she murmured against the other woman's lips. "Entirely worth it when you smile like that."

Maris was sporting one of her own as they started to sway. "There's also cheesecake in the fridge but I'm not letting you go anywhere until I get at least three dances out of you."

"Of course you did." Rory said fondly, her voice reflecting exactly what was on her face - just how much she goddamn loved this woman. "I'll really have to work on cultivating a collection. Maybe make you have some musicals mingling with your collection." She said with widened eyes, her grin still on her face as she leaned in and kissed her again. It was something so unexpected and on the surface simple -- a record Maris knew she'd like. But it meant a hell of a lot that her girlfriend surprised her with it. And bonus, now they got to dance to it.

"Oooh baby. You're really wooing the hell out of me, you realize." She swayed with her, kissing her again -- because, well, she was right there and that smile on her face just begged to be kissed. "This is so much better than any alternative for tonight." She said softly as she dragged her fingers through Maris' hair. "Even before the cheesecake."

"Darling," she started gently. "I love you more than life itself, but I'm gonna have to veto the musicals. Songs that cheery have no place in my library. I have an aesthetic to think of," she teased, knowing deep down, that she would never really deny Rory anything and that one day when they were living under one roof, their record collections would merge anyway.

"It is," she agreed fondly, leaning into her lover's touch. "New Year's is a pretty pointless holiday, but I don't know. I think I'm coming around this year." Her lips twitched into a slight smirk. "I might make a resolution and everything."

It was a stark contrast to one of her trademark rants about them years before, brought on by their mutual friend (who swore they were going eat better for the third year in a row) inviting them out to one of those restaurants with disgustingly oversized, sickly sweet milkshakes with cotton candy, candy bars and god knows what else shoved inside the first weekend of the new year.

She'd called them bullshit, but Maris knew she had every intention of following through on what she'd promised herself this year.

"But I wouldn't be so dismissive of the cheesecake. I think it's going to be life changing. Or at least it should be for as much as the bakery charged me for it."

"No Rogers and Hammerstein even? Blasphemy." But Rory was grinning all the while, laughing at some made-up scenario of some uber-cool guest looking through their records and finding the soundtrack to Spamalot or something ridiculous and judging her love. It had been some time since she'd owned records, maybe since her youth when her mother would bring out her collection and show Rory and her sister how to work the record player. She'd have to tell Maris about that sometime.

"I think this year deserves it. It's been pretty good to us." She smiled and kissed Maris' cheek, letting her lips just linger there for a few moments. Her lips were still there when she broke into a grin, before she leaned back to look into Maris' eyes. "A resolution, really?"

Rory didn't put a lot of stock into resolutions, figuring they were a set-up for failure unless you did something simple you were already planning or did all the time anyway. The idea of setting intentions with Maris however, struck her as particularly wonderful. She wondered what she'd make for hers, but knew it instantly. "Are you gonna tell me or is it a surprise?" For whatever reason, her stomach was aflutter with anticipation.

"Well we're going to have to see about that. You know I'm a sucker for cheesecake." Of course she knew. Maris knew everything about her, relevant and not, big and small. She couldn't think of much at all she hadn't shared with Maris, and yet knew that they still had so many stories to tell each other, adventures to go on, little quirks hopes and fears that might creep up in that time. Rory wanted it all, but never in her whole being could doubt that Maris knew the core of who she was so much more than anyone ever had. It felt important. It felt life affirming. "Even if it's not a resolution, tell me something you want from this year."

Maris bit her lip, slowly dragging her thumb along Rory's cheek. "You really want to know?" she asked softly. She rested their foreheads together for a moment as if bracing herself for something before slowly untangling herself from her lover, her demand for at least three dances seemingly forgotten as she turned down the record to barely audible levels. She loved Nina and maybe music would add a certain something to what was to come, but she needed to make sure she was understood.

She disappeared into her bedroom, gazing at her reflection for a few moments before reaching into the bottom drawer of her dresser to pull out the small box hidden inside.

She closed her hand around it, trying to shield exactly what she was carrying as she walked back into the living room, looking a great deal paler than she had moments before.

"I want to get married," she said softly. "And I was thinking that if you want to get married too..."

She opened the box she was holding with slightly shaky hands, revealing the ring inside.

"We could make it a joint resolution."

Maris had more to say, but she paused to allow them both a moment to breathe. As confident as she was, both in personality and the fact that she knew this was what she wanted, her heart was pounding so hard she needed the extra time to gather up a bit more courage.

There was no going back, after all. No do overs of this moment even though if Rory did say no (something she'd had more than a few nightmares about since buying her ring), she'd probably ask again.

It was big.

The biggest moment they'd had so far and the weight of it was pressing down on her harder than anything she'd ever felt. She knew it was probably silly to be scared. They'd talked and joked about this a thousand times. She knew it was something Rory wanted, but... she had never put quite so much of herself on the line. She was offering herself, her life to Rory in every sense of the word. Deep down she knew she would never do this for anyone else.

It had to be Rory.

Which is why Maris had to ask.

"I..." She started, then stopped, second guessing herself about something. Should she get down on one knee? She'd sort of been going back and forth on whether she found the idea cheesy or romantic, but found herself doing so anyway.

She let out a shaky laugh, meeting Rory's eyes a bit sheepishly because they both knew she wasn't like this. Maris always knew what to say. She was perfectly polished when she knew she was going to be heard, meticulously planning her lessons and ready for anything situations threw her for a curve ball, but...

"I had this all planned out. I was going to wait. I certainly wasn't going to do this on a holiday in my pajamas. I was going to ask after we got a place and got settled because that's how it goes, right? Steps that make sense and don't seem like steps at all, just the natural progression of things but then I almost bought you that book. The Virginia Woolf? Remember I said I had other priorities? I do because I had it in my cart and I was like Jesus, why the hell would you buy her that when you could buy her a ring? And I did need to buy you one because..." She bit her lip, a wave of emotion hitting her hard. "I can't wait that long," she said firmly, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat.

"I'm not saying I want to rush to get married because I want to do that right too. I want to do all of this right. But we can do all of that, everything as it comes. I just... I've nearly asked you so many times. It's there on the tip of my tongue, every day and I just want it badly. I can't't go any longer without knowing you're going to be my wife." Her lips twitched. "I'll be okay with fiance until we get there. More than okay. Really fucking happy and honored so..." Her voice softened, her eyes wet even though they'd never left hers. "What do you say, Rory? Will you marry me?"

"Wha--" Rory was giggling as Maris took off, her hand still outstretched from the last bit of contact she was allowed in that moment. Was her heart racing? Yes, it absolutely was but why? Maybe later she might boast to having some sort of clue as to what was to come - clue, hope, but somewhere in her gut, yeah. The very air around them had shifted and her gaze felt heavy as soon as Maris returned to her.

Whatever her mind and body were doing in those moments Maris was gone, she couldn't deny the sudden burst of shock she felt hit her when Maris said those words, and then still more when the box was suddenly between them. "Oh my god." She said barely audibly, her voice shaking almost as much as her own hands were.

This. This is what it was supposed to feel like. This head to toe depth of the soul kind of glowy warmth that felt like it would never stop. Rory had wondered before, how proposals even really worked when you already knew without a doubt you wanted to marry someone. Why was it that the first instinct wasn't just to shout 'YES!!' and then have the rest of the speech follow? But she got it now - she felt entirely incapable of speaking around how big her heart felt.

Her eyes were wet with tears, a stupid grin on her face as her fingers moved to her lips. Her other hand reached forward and touched Maris' hand as it held the box out, needing to touch her to believe this was really happening. She could barely even see the ring, her eyes were on her loves' face, and stayed there as she dropped to one knee. "Maris, oh my god," She said again, her voice stronger but still marred with utter disbelief.

When they were dating the first time around, Rory liked to think about a moment like this one. But it always felt kind of abstract, like yes one day they would do this and it would be amazing, and she'd plan out this whole proposal that was sickly sweet -- no, that wasn't them. Doing this in pajamas in the middle of the living room. Somehow that just felt so right.

Tears were spilling down her cheeks as she focused on the words Maris said, each one striking her more and more. She remembered the Virginia book, and smiled bigger. Yes. That fit. She shook her head in agreement, still wanting to let Maris get everything out she wanted to, and still finding it hard to articulate what she wanted to say, too. No, she couldn't wait that long either.

"Yes." She said like she was sending a prayer to some kind of heaven, her heart thundering in her chest, face wet - god, she probably looked insane and yet this woman wanted to marry her. And she wanted to marry her just as badly. "Yes I want to be your fiance for a while, and yes I want to be your wife for every second after that." Rory was quickly on her own knees, simply because she couldn't decide in a split second to pull Maris up to her. So instead her hands were on her face and pulling her in to kiss her deeply, desperately. "Yes I will marry you." She mumbled between kisses, saying those words feeling like they were always meant to be said to this woman.

Maris' heart was pounding so hard she could hear it in her ears. With her thoughts racing just as much it was a miracle she could hear Rory's answer at all.

Maris should have had one for her. She should have asked Rory she was sure or even if she liked her ring because it would have been a cruel twist of fate if her taste in jewelry was as bad as Roxanne Gay's after all her smug superiority, but there was simply too much going on.

She was a bit dumbfounded as Rory fell to her knees and joined her on the floor. And for some reason, that was all she could focus on. If only for a moment.

"What!?" she sputtered, cupping Rory's face with her free hand. "You're not supposed to be down here! Only one person's supposed to be on the floor!" she sounded indignant, like she was scolding Rory for not following some sort of engagement protocol but she wasn't actually upset just...

God, this was really happening wasn't it?

Despite her insistence that she'd had her tear ducts removed, Maris was crying too, though Rory had gotten a bit of a head start.

She gently wiped a few of the newest tears away from the other woman's face, then reached into the box to take her ring out so she could put it where it belonged, though it hovered in the air for a moment, Maris' hands shaking as she said, "Oh jesus christ, I've forgotten what hand it goes on!"

She covered her face for a moment, taking a deep breath as she shook her head at her own ridiculousness. "I think I need a minute." She narrowed her eyes in an almost accusatory fashion. "You're sure its a yes? As goddamn spastic as I am right now?"

They'd talked about this for a long time. It felt inevitable at times. Of course they were going to spend the rest of their lives together, whether or not that meant rings would be exchanged. But actually hearing the words coming from Maris made Rory feel ... indescribable. She was crying so much, grinning so wide her cheeks hurt but she couldn't stop. The adrenaline and utter joy that went through her felt like nothing she'd ever experienced. Which was saying something, as she figured she actually had hit the highest of highs with Maris already. Clearly she knew nothing.

Rory couldn't help but burst out laughing at Maris' response to her falling to her level, which wasn't even something she planned - maybe her knees had even felt a little weak. "Yeah, well!" She shrugged, kissing her again, quick pecks that lengthened with each time she kissed her.

However Rory thought this might go, whether she asked first or Maris did, she didn't anticipate, or really couldn't just how much it would affect her, how it would feel to know that what they were doing and what they had with each other was something they both wanted forever.

"I -- oh. Um, which." She laughed, shaking her head before she raised her left hand, double checking herself. But her gaze stayed fixed on Maris, and if it were even possible, the love she had for this woman grew tenfold seeing her like this. The kind of frantic energy, wanting to get it right, ridiculous and emotional. This was her Maris, the part of her that was rare but god, was it special. Just like the rest of her.

"A thousand, million, whatever infinity times yes. It's a yes always." She kissed her again, softer this time, swiping her other hand over her cheeks. "I think it's fitting I did come down here, actually." She said after a moment, almost bashful as she grinned. "Cause you've got to agree to marry me, too. I don't have a ring yet but I've been looking and god now I'm really mad at myself I am such a picky bitch but ... I want you to have one too."

"Oh, I don't care about that," she said immediately, wanting to make sure Rory didn't feel the need to run out and get her something. "I mean I do, but..." she whispered after a beat. She was curious to see what sort of ring Rory would choose, sure she would wear whatever her girlfriend picked proudly, but she wasn't in a rush. She was more than content with the simple fact that Rory said yes.

"I meant what I said. We'll sort it all out, bit by bit. Rings and all."

She slid Rory's onto her finger gently, feeling and acting a bit more like herself as the initial shock began to wear off, but it was still surreal to see the other woman wearing the ring she'd so carefully chosen for her.

"There," she said softly as she finally tore her gaze away from Rory's hand and met her eyes. "We can get you something else if you don't like it. I won't be mad. You're the one who has to wear it."

"I want it to be perfect, and it will be." Rory said with conviction, nodding as she smiled. She actually seemed pretty incapable of stopping that smile on her face, actually. But Rory meant it. She was going to get her a ring that was perfect, and had been eying a few different ones ... she just had to get it right. Maris would wear it for the rest of her life, after all.

"We will. Everything." She agreed, nodding as she kissed her again. She probably should focus on what they were doing other than kissing her but, well, it was hard to stop.

But everything seemed to slow down to a near stand-still as soon as the ring was on her finger. It fit, of course it did, but now she actually got a good look at it. She smiled, seeing the blue shining amidst the white stones. Of course Maris remembered. Her throat felt tight all over again as she looked at how well it was on her finger. It really was perfect.

"It's perfect." She whispered, unaware her voice struggled some to get out through her emotion. She curled her hand into a fist and then flattened her hand out again, flexing her fingers and wiggling them to see how the light reacted to the stones differently. "God, it's perfect, you're perfect." She reached for Maris again, sliding her hand to cup her cheek. "You're my fiancee." She grinned, a giggle bursting forward when she said it like that.

There were no words to describe how relieved Maris was that she'd done a good job choosing Rory's ring. Her rant about Dani on the L Word being an absolute idiot for not just borrowing one of her girlfriend's rings to ensure a proper fit had come from experience. She had snuck one out of Rory's jewelry box a few weeks before, bought her ring and put it back before the other woman was none the wiser.

Maris still ended up with a few stress dreams revolving around the notion she'd messed up somehow, that despite her careful planning the ring wouldn't fit, a bad omen if there ever was one.

But it was fine. Perfect. Rory said so herself. She liked her ring and Maris felt like she could let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, but what Rory said next was what really made the whole world stand still and caused Maris to finally relax.

"I am," she murmured, tilting her head to kiss the other woman's palm. "And you're mine."

Fiancee was a word that, in theory, would probably take some getting used to. Maris could think of more than a few people who would be shocked she'd even considered marriage, let alone take the first step toward it, her father probably chief among them.

But she had a feeling it wouldn't be as strange as her younger self thought it would be. Life changing, yes, but not in the overly pessimistic ways she'd imagined. She would still be the same person. Rory would still be in her life. Their relationship would still be the same. It wouldn't be better just... she had to ask. Something about asking Rory to be hers, forever just felt more...meaningful. As for her new title... she'd wanted it. She wanted to be Rory's fiancee and to call her the same. She'd longed for it even though she thought girls pining over things like that were silly and pathetic. She didn't think it'd take long to get used to at all.

"And we're going to find a house and get married and maybe get a new cat and hopefully have some babies." She smirked. "I kept telling you I had plans."

It wasn't news that the both of them could be a bit snobbish about things, and rings were chief among things that they were particularly picky about. Rory had some idea in her mind at times that if they were to pick Muppet spirit animals, they'd be the old men who sit in the balcony heckling everything ridiculous around them. There wasn't a thing to ridicule about this ring, however. Maris had done a perfect job, something that wasn't gaudy, but rather elegant and simple but exquisitely beautiful all at once. And the blue stood out. She'd never take it off.

"You are." She grinned so big she thought she might sprain her cheeks, her fingers brushing underneath Maris' chin. Rory's own history with this sort of thing could have been a deterrent, but later she might be entirely relieved that wasn't the case. Later, because her mind had no time or space for a comparison. All she could see was Maris. All she could feel was the depth of love she had for this woman. Her mind was awash with joy that only Maris could give her. Later, if she gave it space to think about, she'd note the difference. This is what it was supposed to feel like. The person she was meant to be with for the rest of her days was the woman in front of her. Her fiancee. Her future wife.

Since they'd gotten back together, something Rory really took great pride in was how the two of them took steps to grow together. They were so much better at communicating than they were a few years ago. They were supportive of each other but could give each other space on the rare occasion either of them wanted it. They looked ahead to their future. They made plans. Now here they were, really taking such a huge step towards their future thanks to Maris. Her love for this woman just grew and grew.

"Oh a new cat, too? Now you're talking crazy." She laughed, brushing her fingers along Maris' neck as she just couldn't stop grinning as she gazed at her. "I never want to stop making plans with you. Even when we're little old ladies. I think that's really when we start our bank robbing careers, get a nice nest egg for the grandkids." Rory chuckled, leaning in and kissing her again. "Whatever we do, I'm gonna spend every day of my life loving you."