The meeting of the real Marstons and the fictional ones had off gone off with a hitch, much better than Veruca had ever expected. All parties were helpful and seemed to get along, but Veruca seemed to have a special kinship with Pete, listening with him rapt attention and unwavering patience and encouragement. Since her grandmother had been her main babysitter growing up, she was used to interacting with older people and adored them even more than she did children, seemingly having a knack with both. They'd had a fairly nice time filming some more domestic scenes with the Marstons' children shortly before their arrival.
Interactions with her peers had always been what she had trouble navigating.
Pete had been charmed by Veruca's thoughtful and polite nature, but it was clear that the older man had left quite an impression on her too. Her cheeks were aching from smiling so much as they entered the bed and breakfast, despite the fact that it had been drizzling as they exited the car. Her Burberry trench was uncomfortably damp as they waited for the woman behind the counter to finish checking in the man ahead of them.
"It's going to pour," Luke said, nodding toward the rapidly darkening sky outside.
"At least we're inside now," she said, running a hand through her hair. It was an attempt to dry it out a bit, but she only succeed in causing a few strands to stand straight up.
Her face fell a bit when the owner informed them the B & B was nearly booked. She assumed that she, Luke and Gemma would all have their own single room and as she turned around to see how they felt about sticking it out or seeking other accommodation, the downpour that Luke predicted came with full force.
"I personally don't mind sharing," she said after a beat. "There's two beds, right?"
"Well, no, it's a queen, but we have twin beds. I can move two into your room if it'll make you feel more comfortable."
Veruca looked over at Gemma before giving an answer.
"Oh, keep the big one. You can practice for next week," Luke said cheekily.
"Shut up," Veruca hissed, but there was an undeniable fondness in her voice for her male co-star, though her cheeks were warming a bit. Her eyes never left Gemma's in an effort to try and suss out about how she felt about staying.
Gemma hadn’t actually realized how nervous she had been before they arrived at the house to meet with the real Marstons. She carried herself with a confidence that often seemed unflappable, so when her nerves did eek in, they often threw her for a loop. She’d approached with zeal to the amount of questions she had, but cautiously, ever looking for some hint that Pete hated the fact that they were telling this story … but her nerves were for naught. The longer they spent there, the more at ease she felt, the more she felt confident that she was the right person to step into his mother’s shoes. The pressure definitely set more solidly on her shoulders, but she felt after they’d left, that she knew this formidable woman a little bit more. By the time they left, she was on an energetic high, all smiles and feeling that much more excited to get to work come Monday.
Then there was the other half of it, watching how invested and charming Veruca had been with Pete. Yes, Luke had been charming and adorable as well, but there was something that kept capturing her attention in the care that Veruca took when she was talking with Pete. Her smile was infectious, her energy fueling Gemma’s. The more she got to know the other woman, the more she couldn’t even begin to imagine this journey with anyone else.
Of course, the situation at their Bed & Breakfast threatened to put a bit of a damper on things, didn’t it?
She was sliding her hands over the sleeves of her coat, like that would get herself dry from the rain they’d been through, when the owner informed them of the problem. “Oh, really?” She said as though they were going to magically have some more rooms open up if she just pushed back a bit. With the weather turning to utter crap outside (though, it did make her feel quite at home), going on a random search for someplace new seemed like the worst idea.
Gemma tugged her fingers through her damp hair and made a face at Luke, rolling her eyes. “You’re an idiot.” She said at the same time Veruca told him to shut up. Her gaze reverted back to the other woman, a conspiring smile gracing her features. “Well, considering Luke likely snores like a sleeping giant, I’d far rather take my chances with you.” She chuckled, nudging Luke with her elbow as he shot her an incredulous look. “I’ve caught you sleeping on set, we’ll have to stuff a sock in your mouth.”
All through the teasing with Luke, her gaze remained with Veruca. Her brows raised a bit, like a question, a clarification. “Right?” It was her own agreement, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she nodded. Once things were settled and they were given keys, she hugged Luke goodbye to his solo room and slung her weekend bag over her shoulder. “Can I call dibs on the shower first? I’m a bit chilled to the bone.” And having a moment to collect herself with whatever this connective feeling was wouldn’t be a bad thing, either.
"Sure," Veruca said, dropping her carpet bag by the closet so she could hang the rest of her clothes after she shrugged off her trench coat. "I heard my phone going off on the way over so I'll probably just be taking calls."
Once the other woman was behind the bathroom door, Veruca quickly shed the black turtleneck and flowered palazzo pants she'd been wearing. Since she had always been meticulous about caring for her clothes and keeping them wrinkle free, they were quickly hung up alongside what was meant to be tomorrow's dress and her coat. Feeling much better once she was in dry in a navy silk pajama set with shorts, she sighed and reached for her phone.
Veruca and Haley had been playing phone tag lately so it didn't surprise her that most of her notifications were from her. She was pleasantly surprised when her girlfriend picked up, the two of them having a fairly standard catch up until the other woman dropped a bombshell.
"What do you mean you're not coming?"
They'd been planning a visit for weeks and since Veruca had visited Haley in Georgia twice since their initial parting it was the other woman's turn to visit her this time around.
Haley was busy. Haley was working. They were the same excuses she'd given Veruca a thousand times before and she'd finally reached her limit.
"I'm working too," she spat, the usually soft spoken woman beginning to raise her voice. "I'm filming too, Haley."
More excuses and reassurances were made, Haley's tone shifting into one Veruca recognized as fake. It was the voice she used to appease reporters, the voice she used when she wanted to be diplomatic and liked.
"Don't even bother coming next weekend. No, seriously don't even bother to try and move things around." Veruca paused. "Because I don't want to see you now!"
It was the sort of statement an egotist like Haley couldn't abide. An apology and then a few harsh words were exchanged once Haley realized her girlfriend wasn't having it before Veruca hung up, tossing her phone back in her purse with more force was possibly necessary.
The room was actually fairly nice, and would likely make for a good getaway for even a couple or something. It would prove close quarters for the pair of them, yes, but Gemma figured it would be a good opportunity for she and Veruca to bond a bit more. And yes, it was a better alternative to sharing a space with Luke, god love him.
Gemma gathered a few things from her bag and disappeared into the bathroom, taking a fairly luxurious shower before drying off and getting into the pajamas she’d brought. Of course, she hadn’t anticipated sharing a room for the night, so she’d just brought a pair of flannels and a tank top. She towel dried her hair and ran a comb through it, shutting off the fan in the bathroom as she finished up. Of course, in doing so, she was able to hear pretty clearly bits and pieces of the conversation in the other room.
Throughout her relationships, and certainly through her longest one, friends and family often had their opinions of things. It (usually) came from a good place, but it had a tendency to wear on already fraying nerves. There was a difference between prying and caring, between being there for someone and an actual good listener and forcing opinions on someone. Gemma waited in the bathroom another moment or two after the conversation died down before exiting, ruffling her damp hair with her fingers.
“Good shower,” She commented like it mattered, her lips twisting together as she regarded the other woman. Gemma took in the scene, the general energy of the room that felt heavier. Being an actor meant being in touch with a certain level of emotion, and with that an empathy that sometimes drove her nuts to be so attuned to.
She remembered the annoyance that coursed through her with shocking clarity towards the end of her relationship, when she was distraught and mulling over and over and over the decisions she was making, when her brother had, in his dumbass well meaning, said some comment with a grin ‘Trouble in paradise?’ The most unhelpful kind of comment was one meant to alleviate the asker’s tension.
So Gemma took a seat on the end of the bed, turning her gaze towards Veruca. “Are you alright?” She asked simply, genuinely interested in the well being of her, well, friend.
Veruca was so swept up in her conversation and the mood that followed that she'd forgotten she was alone. She was somewhat startled when Gemma spoke, her breath hitching as she was pulled out of her thoughts.
Veruca liked to appear put together, and not just with carefully chosen outfits. She wasn't one to burden others with her problems. Even her friends were kept largely in the dark when she was going through something, but there was something so sincere about the way Gemma was looking at her. It gave Veruca a feeling she couldn't quite pinpoint in the pit of her stomach. Whatever it was, it, momentarily at least, replaced the frustration coursing through her.
"She said she was coming to visit but-" She gestured defeatedly, figuring she didn't need to elaborate on who she was. It was probably fairly obvious she was talking to her girlfriend.
Though she was suddenly worried about just how much the other woman had heard. Veruca wanted Gemma to think well of her and not just as a co-worker. She was slowly but surely beginning to admire her more by the day.
"It's probably for the best though, right?" she said quickly, doing her best to change the subject. "We have a ton to do next week. How much would I have really got to see her anyway?"
Gemma understood, maybe better than most, that appearances were important if only to one's self. As an actor, sure, but as a human being, Gemma had learned to keep herself a certain way around people. Actual vulnerability in a way that let down every last guard? That was nonsense, no matter how confident she was, and no matter how openly she gave herself to her craft - there were some parts that just had to stick much closer to the chest. She supposed most people were like that, save for maybe those rare over-sharers.
While Gemma was still getting to know Veruca, she felt a bond, a kinship with her already. Perhaps it was bold of her to think Veruca felt that way as well, but it made sense to her in any case.
"Oof, yeah." She sighed, a frown twisting her features. "I'm sorry." She said earnestly, twisting a bit in her spot a bit to face her better.
"We have plenty to do, and set will be a madhouse with making our days..." She paused, tilting her head a bit to regard the other woman before she spoke again. "It's not bad to allow yourself the disappointment. Hell, even wallow a bit if that's what feels right." So much of adulthood felt like people telling you to bottle up negative feelings, to grin and bear it. "I've been where you are, though." Gemma offered somewhat tentatively, realizing she was opening up a whole bit of herself.
In truth, Veruca wasn't upset about not seeing her girlfriend as quickly as she would have liked. The pair may have been dating for nearly a year, but since both had been working pretty steadily through it, she was used to grabbing time with Haley when she could. Her frustration stemmed from the fact that her girlfriend just didn't seem invested. Veruca was tired of doing everything. Of being the one to book flights, take her out, plan vacations and even though she was very embarrassed to admit it, initiate intimacy.
Veruca rarely felt like a priority in Haley's life and was always left with the impression that it was much more important than her own and thusly, her girlfriend was much more important than her.
Veruca was tired of being an afterthought. She wanted someone who wanted her as much as she wanted them and it was very difficult to want Haley right now.
Which was precisely why she asked her not to bother coming in the first place.
It didn't feel right to wallow. Not when their project was giving her so much to feel excited about. Okay, so she was feeling a bit nervous about their upcoming scenes because they were about to become a bit more intimate, but that was more personal insecurity (she had been jogging and eating a few more salads in hopes she'd look nice in a certain burlesque costume) and the fear of trying something she'd never attempted than any uncomfort with her cast mates. Luke and Gemma had been lovely, the latter proving that by actually bothering to check on her well being. She was going to have a blast next week. She'd probably barely even think about Haley because just like Olive, Veruca found everything Marston was slowly but surely invading her thoughts.
But she was stuck thinking about herself and her problems in the here and now. The notion that the person she'd chosen to spend her (frankly precious, because her career meant she didn't have a ton of it) time with just not caring about her cutting pretty deep.
"She doesn't try," she confessed. "I feel like I'm always trying and she-" Her words were soft because they were often thought, but until now never really spoken aloud.
"Really?" Veruca tilted her head, doing her own shift on the bed to get more comfortable so she could settle in and listen to what Gemma had to say, tucking her legs under her Indian style.
Veruca didn't know much about Gemma's personal life, but she had known the other woman was a lesbian before signing onto the film. She was sure she could have played against a straight actress just as easily, but it had kind of convinced her to take the part even more. Gemma knew what it was like to love another woman, just like she, Olive and Elizabeth did. Gemma got it.
Veruca just needed someone who got her. Because Haley certainly didn't seem to.
"What happened?" she prodded gently. It was clear she was listening to Gemma with rapt attention, but since she hadn't managed to take off her makeup before putting her pjs, she reached for the wipes in her cosmetic bag and started scrubbing as she waited for her to speak.
As actors, their jobs were rarely conducive to any sort of normal life. The heightened emotions aside, work could take them to any corner of the world at any time, for sometimes days, weeks, months at a time. Anyone who strived to really excel in this gypsy lifestyle accepted a certain level of uncertainty and change. It was easier for some to accept and embrace it than others. For Gemma, she’d never really had the biggest concept of sticking to one place for a while. She loved to travel and experience new places, which had been especially important to her not to get too stuck in the British period-princess niche that so many did. But truth be told, it was harder on relationships than she would have liked. Every relationship, be it a friendship or a romantic one, took a deal of work. Both parties just had to be willing to put in said work.
Gemma liked to think she could read people pretty well, and sitting with Veruca made her feel like she could sense what she would say before she actually expressed it. She had been in similar places, at least so she inferred. Relationships were hard, and that went hand in hand with trust and intimacy.
Work may not have been currently as distracting as it could be. With their weekend trip, they were supposed to have fun and not let anything sully that. She hated that something had spoiled any of the good mood they’d had throughout the day, but she supposed that girlfriends in particular had a way of making or breaking a positive day. Gemma might not be a fan of this other woman, at present.
Exhaling heavily, Gemma shifted in her seat, one leg still draped over the side of the bed, but the other bent so she could rest her forearm on her knee as it drew up close to her chest. “I get that.” She said, a pang of genuine understanding hitting her chest. Feeling like an actual priority was so important to being with someone, and felt even harder when that wasn’t the case. “It’s always really hard to feel like you’re the one carrying the weight of a relationship … that should be pretty even.” She offered by way of explanation.
Oddly enough, Gemma wasn’t entirely used to someone asking her much about her personal life. Outside of her closest friends, maybe people were more concerned of keeping things professional, or maybe people just didn’t entirely care enough beyond what they were going through themselves. Perhaps even more likely, gossip had a way of filling in the blanks, so why ask? “All this and no mini bar?” She joked, her impish smile matching a roll of her eyes as she shifted again, this time turning to lie on her side and prop her head in the palm of her hand. “Oh one of those things…”
Gemma was used to passing off her past heartache as something she was just over. She was fine, and always fine. But looking at Veruca now, she felt like the other woman genuinely cared. It gave her an intense feeling in the pit of her stomach she honestly wasn’t prepared for. “I might have been slightly naive, but I suppose none of us go into a relationship thinking it will ever end, right?” Her fingertips of her free hand drew lazy patterns against the comforter on the bed. “Over a while the little things piled up. Not that I’m comparing … but like you said, it takes the effort.”
Gemma liked to think of herself as an articulate person, but found herself struggling a bit to get all of this out. Feelings were tough, weren’t they? “I say, don’t let anyone tell you that long distance is impossible. It’s not. It’s just about the effort and the time you’re willing to put in. With my ex, the distance wasn’t even the problem really. We just let the little things pile up and our communication failed us miserably in the end.”
Veruca had been excited to film one of the scene where the Martsons officially decide to stick together and be a family last week. It was a pivotal one, the core of the entire story, but on a more selfish note she simply adored babies. She never really had a chance to interact with them. Many of her friends were queer and childless or simply too wrapped up in their careers for parenthood. Veruca had never really been around small children either. Her childhood had been very isolated. She'd never really had playmates or even been around other kids until starting school.
Veruca hadn't realized just how much she had in common with Olive until that moment. She had also grown up without a mother and while she didn't feel quite as alone as her character had, Veruca found herself ruminating more and more on the idea of family in the days since. It didn't help that the baby they'd worked with was an absolute doll, spending most of the day cooing and smiling without being the least bit fussy. They hadn't filmed the pregnancy scenes she told Gemma she was excited about when they first met, but Veruca knew the other woman's joke about prosthetic bellies making her want to run out and get pregnant would probably be true in her case. Or at least, confirm her suspicions.
Veruca didn't just like the idea of being a mother. She wanted to be one some day.
But when she imagined this (and when she did, it was definitely in the distant, but not too distant future), she imagined doing it alone. She didn't want to. Her father was hardly a bad parent, but he wasn't the sort of person equipped to do it all on his own. Veruca was like Olive. Veruca wanted her children to grow up surrounded by family and love. She wanted that for herself, too.
She should have pictured Haley in these scenarios. Haley should have been holding her hand as they pushed a stroller through the park. Haley should have been reading Goodnight Moon while she kissed some blonde toddler's forehead before bed but...she wasn't. The fact that she couldn't see a future with her girlfriend should have told Veruca something.
But that was kind of the thing.
She'd spent most of their relationship convinced Haley wouldn't stay. A constant sense of uncertainty had become her new normal, which was sad, really. Strange when you considered most people praised Veruca for carrying herself with a certain sort of dignity and grace.
Veruca made a face as she studied her now dirty make up wipe and tossed it in the trash, though her disgust had more to do with Gemma's ex than what was on the towel. She knew next to nothing about this woman but she was certain she didn't like her. "You deserve better," she said, hating how it sounded like such a cliched response but she meant it. Gemma was lovely. Gemma was kind and talented and funny. Veruca didn't understand how someone couldn't want to spend time with her even if that time was spent trying to work through the hard stuff. Nobody liked rough patches but they were worth it if the other person was as special as the one across from her.
She ran a hand over her face, suddenly very aware of how fresh faced she was. She wasn't the sort of woman who clung to her make up like a shield and refuse to go to the corner store or gym without it, but Veruca did like the extra little confidence boost it provided. Still, it seemed fitting to be sitting there, vulnerable and bare when she certainly felt that way.
"But that's it. That's exactly it," she said after a beat with a solemn nod. "She doesn't...talk." Or kiss. Or joke or....
Veruca sighed, taking a deep breath to try and center herself as she ran a hand through her hair. "It probably is better that she doesn't come, you know." Her lips twitched ever so slightly. "I need time to get your coffee in the mornings."
Though it sounded like an excuse coming from most, that old idea of “we just wanted different things” had a striking thread of truth for Gemma. When she and her would-be wife had parted ways, it only then in the aftermath began to seem clear just how ill-suited they were for each other. Where Gemma was focused on her career and the craft of it, her ex Nicole had been very much focused on her brand. Though not an actor herself, she had made a name for herself as a photographer and artist. Highly sensitive artist-types like any number of these women involved in this current conversation could be a recipe for disaster, but Gemma believed that people of all kinds could shift and grow together - it didn’t matter where you came from so long as you found common ground somewhere. Compromise was not Nicole’s best ability, or even top five. Gemma made a point to be there for her gallery openings, Nicole was often on her arm at a red carpet event. They did well together, until they didn’t. It was disappointing to say the least, but not altogether surprising.
Children were often a difficult conversation to have, never wanting to broach the subject too soon, but also never wanting to wait until you were too far in to have a real conversation about it. Gemma loved kids, and adored her nieces and nephew. She often thought about what it might be like to be a mother, and ultimately had decided long ago it was something she wanted. The older she got, the more she wondered if it was actually in the cards for her, but with Nicole, it had been a topic they’d discussed early on in their relationship. It had been a relief to be on the same page — until in the last year or so of their relationship when Nicole decided it wasn’t actually something she wanted. Perhaps that was the beginning of the end for them, but Gemma had always said (and meant) that if she was with the right person, growing a family together wasn’t the most important thing. It was more the wishy-washy half decisions that grated on her. Don’t dangle something unless you’re at least willing to try.
This wasn’t something she’d bring up with Veruca, because it felt so personal. If she started to ask about the bigger disagreements they had or where they really split in their wants in their relationship, she thought it might seem as though she were trying to guide the conversation a certain way. It wasn’t like she was trying to blow up this woman’s relationship so she could swoop in or something. No. Definitely not.
Gemma made a face at Veruca’s comment, but smiled at how sweet it was for her to say - maybe she did deserve better, but realizing that and putting it into action were two separate things. Her gaze lifted up to the other woman, taking her in as she spoke. Gemma didn’t interrupt with her own thoughts, just listened for the moment until she had time to gather what she wanted to say. “I think, if we’re being quite honest here, you deserve a hell of a lot better too.” She said it as she reached forward and gave her knee a gentle squeeze, meant for encouragement. Gemma must have been tired because she swore she felt warm just from such a simple gesture. “You’re an excellent conversationalist for starters, she doesn’t know what she’s missing.”
Having such an open and even vulnerable conversation, Gemma probably shouldn’t have been struck so much by how beautiful Veruca was, particularly as she wiped her face free of makeup. It felt almost intimate to be bare with each other, both emotionally and without any hint of a facade. Not that she bought into that makeup was one, for that matter.
It took her a moment to realize her hand was still on Veruca’s knee, so she pulled it back, adjusting a little bit as she let out a soft laugh. “Oh yeah, she absolutely should stay gone. I don’t know what sort of a monster I’d be without your beautiful gift of caffeine to my mornings.” Gemma grinned, biting at her lower lip. “I’ll be selfish, keep you to myself there.”
Veruca and Haley's coupling had caused a stir. Even if you took the fact that America's sweetheart hadn't shown even the slightest hint of interest in women out of the equation it still seemed strange that someone so high profile who could have easily dated anyone she wanted chose someone whose only turn as a leading lady had been a bit of a disaster. Very few people knew who Veruca actually was and few who did seemed very unimpressed. Haley was bright, bubbly and charismatic. Well, publicly anyway. Veruca was quiet and withdrawn and clearly uncomfortable with the extra attention dating Haley had brought her way. It was often said that she didn't deserve her.
Which was why it was strange to hear Gemma say the exact opposite. It gave Veruca a pang in her chest, though the other woman's hand on her knee caused one of a different sort in her stomach.
She wasn't a touchy feely sort. Lovers and friends alike had pegged Veruca as cold. As close as they were getting, she had never touched Gemma before which is why she was surprised by how much she noticed the other woman taking her hand away, She knew it was a harmless sympathetic gesture that probably didn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but it's loss was keenly felt.
"You might be on your own for a few days next week. I'm headed back home for the weekend."
Gemma wouldn't really be alone. Scenes that featured Elizabeth and Will were next on the shooting schedule, so Veruca figured it was as good a time as any to head back home. She normally wouldn't have bothered, since she'd be needed as soon as they were over, but the time off meant she'd actually be able to attend a friend's wedding.
A bit of normalcy would probably do her a world of good, though she was already dreading questions about where her girlfriend was and why she wouldn't be able to accompany her.
Not to ever project her own thoughts and feelings about relationship dynamics on anyone else, but Gemma had grown to learn about certain people who had the tendency to steal others' light from them. Often times it wasn't even a conscious thing, not malicious anyway, but for those who just focused so intensely on themselves that they didn't realize how damaging it could be for the people in their lives. Energy vampires could be another term, complete asshole could be another. Anyone who made someone feel like they needed to dim themselves down wasn't worth the effort in the end. Gemma couldn't help but wonder if this girlfriend of Veruca's was like that. She didn't like the idea that it might be the case.
The urge to reach back out and have some sort of contact again was a strong one, but Gemma didn't really want to ponder why that was. She was an affectionate sort, sure, but it would be a lie to say she didn't often find herself drawn to this woman. She really just hoped that she could see her worth, and just how worthy she was to be revered and adored by someone. It was madness to Gemma that Veruca might feel anything but.
"Oh is that right?" Her brow quirked up as she adjusted to lean up on her elbow. "You're going to leave me to the wolves without you?" A flair for dramatic edged into her words, but Gemma actually did feel a slight pang of ... what? Disappointment? Just a few days, when Veruca wouldn't have any reason to be on set anyway, but somehow knowing she was going to be gone sat like a ton of bricks on her shoulders.
The time would go by quickly. Then they'd be onto deeper scenes and a lot more of their scenes of just the pair of them, too. Scenes she was looking forward to more and more. "What's happening at home? I hope it's at least home cooked meals and a distinct lack of fighting over politics."
Veruca's nose wrinkled at the mention of politics. "No fighting, I don't let myself get within 50 feet of republicans." Her lips twitched at her little joke before she continued. "No, a friend from college is getting married."
Veruca honestly didn't have many friends that weren't. Her social circle was the same as any other, with most starting to pair off (either with each other, or branching out to ultimately add others into the fold) once their mid 20's hit. Her friend, Gina had been one of the few stragglers, but Veruca had a feeling she might be the last singleton standing.
She didn't really mind. She'd had a handful of serious relationships, including a girlfriend she lived with in a shoebox sized apartment shortly after college, but they had always been somewhat brief and relatively low pressure. Veruca may have been the sort of person who liked to plan and overthink things but even she knew you couldn't do the same with matters of the heart. You just had to see where things went which is why she'd really never had an opinion on marriage one way or the other.
If it was meant to happen, it would. Like motherhood, Veruca needed some sort of catalyst, in this case a someone, to help her realize she wanted it first.
"But there will definitely be cooking, I'm kind of getting tired of room service here."
Veruca had always been the family chef. She'd learned out of necessity. Her father was a busy man who wasn't exactly skilled in the kitchen, relying mostly on take out to keep himself and Veruca fed. She'd started watching cooking shows as a teenager, liking the idea of a home cooked meal almost as much as the idea of helping her father out.
Her New York kitchen, like most, was comically small but in almost constant use when she was home with enough energy to do so.
"If you're ever in New York, you should come and see me sometime. I'll cook for you. What are you into?"
"Oh you are a wise woman, there. I can't imagine having to stomach that kind of energy around a dinner table." She made her own face to mirror Veruca's, just for a moment before her features softened into a smile. "Oh I love a good wedding."
Though parties were never exactly Gemma's scene, she loved the celebration of a wedding. She hadn't necessarily gotten very deep into planning her own, but she had known exactly the kind of wedding she wanted. Her age in particular meant that many of her friends had been married for a while yet, with kids, houses, the whole shebang. She had a good handful of friends who were ever-single, or just committed without the need to put a legality to it. In Gemma's mind, it was never really "just a piece of paper" as so many seemed to like to say. It was something fought for that meant something. She was definitely a blubberer at a particularly good wedding.
"I miss my kitchen." She sort of half whined - thinking more of her home in London than her one in New York. She loved her place there, but London was home and definitely looked it. London was where she had space and her favorite tea set. A very important thing.
Her brow perked with a blink-and-you'd-miss-it interest, the idea flitting through her mind just briefly that 'What are you into' could lead to any number of answers. Food though, indeed. "I will a hundred percent take you up on that. I'm into all sorts of things." She said with an air of a dramatic sigh, grabbing for a pillow to stuff it under her head so she could better look up at Veruca. "Do you have a signature dish you like to cook the most? I'm entirely not picky. It's a problem at times."
Veruca tilted her head to the side for a moment, clearly taking the act of choosing a dinner menu for Gemma seriously. Pineapple upside down cake was her go-to party dish. It was such a crowd pleaser that she usually had to make two to keep everyone happy, but it was a bit harder to choose a savory dish since she experimented with them more often, making herself something new for dinner whenever time and energy allowed.
"I really love these sweet potato pancakes I started making?" Haley had been less than thrilled by the idea of what she called "gross vegetable pancakes" and refused to try them, but with a bit of maple syrup on top they tasted like candy, reminiscent of the brown sugar dusted ones Veruca's grandmother on special occasions like Thanksgiving. "I really want to start learning how to roll sushi though. Someone got me a gift certificate for classes for my birthday, but I haven't had a chance to use it yet."
The idea of Gemma in her home was as strange as it was exciting. England felt like something of a bubble, their bubble where the outside world or even time ceased to exist. There were days where Veruca was so wrapped up in filming that she was surprised to turn the corner and see girls with mini skirts and purple hair. She was used to living in the Marstons world and could only imagine how jarring time in New York would probably be.
Would it feel different to see Gemma outside of here, of work? She assumed so but talking to her, alone away from work, cameras and everything else felt very much the same as one of their coffee breaks. If a little more intimate.
"I mean it though," she said, shifting a bit more comfortably on the bed. "You're going to have to come visit me when this is all over."
The more time that Gemma spent with Veruca, the more she ended up wanting to spend that much more time with the other woman. She smiled up at her, watching how much care she took with what could have been such a simple decision. She wondered if she often cooked, or how adventurous she was with her own cuisines ... but Gemma kept quiet, instead enjoying the view of Veruca being utterly cute while trying to invent a dish in her head.
"Ooh, now you've reached where I'm a sucker for any and all things potato - sweet or otherwise." Why was it that the idea of Veruca bustling around a kitchen making some dish gave Gemma this strange (but not unpleasant) pang in her stomach? She'd unpack that later, certainly not now in front of the woman.
The domesticity of cooking invoked ideas in her mind over the more domestic and intimate scenes they had ahead of themselves. She smiled a little, thinking of a particular pivotal scene towards the end where Olive demanded a new stove. She really loved this world they were creating around themselves and their film. Perhaps that's why it sat so ill in her stomach, this idea that Veruca would be gone from it for a few days. A silly thought, no doubt.
"Consider it done, so long as you let me return the favor next time you find yourself in London." She smiled, shifting a little like that would put more space between them, but it didn't at all. "You'll be sorely missed in any case. I'll just have to catch you up on whatever set shenanigans happen in your absence."
"You'll have to keep Luke out of trouble," she warned. Veruca was mostly joking, but for a moment, she sounded every bit like the wife she was playing.
She'd been excited to go to the wedding and still was, but telling Gemma about her plans helped the reality of leaving sink in. Part of her didn't want to go. She was sure Angela and her co-stars wouldn't mind if she stuck around to observe. Quiet as she was, they would probably barely notice she was there.
But she would notice them. She liked watching other actors at work and had probably learned more about her craft from simple observation and real world experience than she ever had in a classroom (though the college friend she was going to see would probably tell you Veruca behaved like Hermione, taking meticulous notes and memorizing professor's every word like gospel, just in case they would come in handy some day), but even now she knew it really wouldn't be about that.
She liked watching Gemma. She was drawn to her the same way Olive was drawn to Elizabeth, though she hoped it wasn't in quite the same way. It made her feel slightly out of sorts, but on some level she was grateful for it. It would give her something to build off of in the days to come. She'd had a more than a few struggles trying to build an infatuation with actors she just didn't like, but she'd never liked an actor this much.
Was it because she was an actress? An actress who, if things were different she could have allowed herself to have a real infatuation with?
Maybe. But attempting to sort out anything other than dinner menus at the moment would make Veruca more exhausted than she already was.
"Are you tired?" she asked gently. If Gemma wasn't, she wouldn't have minded staying up. In truth, she was a bit mad at her body betraying her because she wanted to keep talking to her for as long as possible, but since they were sharing a bed (another thing she hadn't had a chance to unpack until this moment) they probably needed to be on the same page on the sleep front.
"I make no promises, that man has a wild mind of his own." She held up her hands in a gesture, laughing as she said it.
The bond that the three of them were forming amongst themselves was something that Gemma already felt was, for lack of a better term, special. She felt so keenly aware of the other two when they were around, and moreover felt like they were gelling in a way she had only hoped for. Perhaps it was how unabashedly queer the entirety of the set seemed to be. They lived in a safe space here, and Gemma felt as though she didn't have to even subtly hide any piece of herself. It was undoubtedly the freest she'd ever felt on a set, and that opened her up creatively too.
She found herself more thrilled than ever to show up to work every day, even if the day ended up being something somewhat boring like pickups. She similarly loved watching Veruca and Luke work, though she'd be lying if she said her eye wasn't usually drawn to the other woman on set. She'd say there was something magical to her performance, something that struck her now and again when she'd catch herself staring a little too long. Gemma might pass it off as just getting deeply into character. She knew better, though.
"A bit, yeah." She replied, though as she spoke, her words tapered off into a yawn. Covering her mouth with the back of her hand, she laughed a bit sheepishly and rolled her eyes. "Apparently more so." Sitting up a little straighter, she glanced from the bed itself to Veruca, perhaps also just then aware how close they'd inevitably be to each other. "Do you have a side-preference? When no one else is in my bed I just starfish but I'll not be so selfish." She teased, sliding off the bed so they could turn down the blankets.
As Gemma turned down the bed, Veruca was suddenly very aware of just how very close they were about to be. Sharing a bed with someone didn't have to be intimate, but Veruca actually had less experience in platonic bed sharing than she did the other sort. She'd only had a few close friends growing up and largely missed out on the platonic sort of sleepovers popular with teenage girls.
Still, she knew she wasn't that bad of a bed mate. None of her lovers had ever complained of anything potentially embarrassing like snoring or drooling on her end.
But there was no denying a slight case of nerves on her end. Veruca wanted to make a good impression on Gemma even while she was asleep.
"I kinda don't like sleeping close to the door," she admitted a bit sheepishly. It was a bit of a residual hang up from a childhood fear of monsters, though she was a bit more paranoid about intruders these days thanks to sporadic true crime binges.
"You're not a kicker, are you? Because I was planning on wearing a skirt to the wedding but I guess I can wear a maxi dress to cover any bruises if I have to," she joked.
It felt like such a normal thing, turning down the bed before sleep. In a new space, it always felt a little bit of a chore, but Gemma was very aware of the intimacy a moment like this one could infer. It made her cheeks feel a little warmer, but she ignored it as she gathered her hair into a messy ponytail to keep it out of her face.
Charming was the word that came to mind at Veruca's answer, an adoring kind of smile gracing her features as she nodded. "Sensible." She said simply, as she grabbed one of the pillows that had gone askew and tossed it to what would be her side of the bed - closer to the door. Gemma felt like she was stalling with how she was going through all these motions, which in turn made her wonder if she was making things weirder by not just diving in and inviting Veruca to join her.
"Oh no your legs will be just fine." She said through a grin, but made a face a moment later. "I definitely do full on slap though, so keep your hands up." She teased, finally taking her time to sit back in the bed. Truthfully, she hadn't had anyone in her bed for a night for a while - even her sporadic hook ups didn't stay the night - her preference.
When someone else was in her bed, she did have the tendency to somehow gravitate towards being the "big spoon", but she trusted that even in her sleep she wouldn't cross that line. "Any sleeping quirks I should be forewarned about?"
Once Veruca got her side of the bed sorted, she found Luke's joke about using the opportunity to practice for next week echoing in the back of her mind. She knew he was teasing. She and Gemma were hardly going to start rolling around in the bed so they'd be ready to go when the time came, but part of this did feel like some weird, ultra method acting exercise.
"We should be fine," she said.
As strange as the situation was, Veruca found herself grateful thy hadn't taken the owner up on swapping out their queen bed for twin ones as she finally climbed in. There was no way someone as tall as she was would have fit.
She waited for Gemma to get settled in, a beat of silence passing before she spoke. "It was a good day," she said fondly. "I feel like we're on the right track, don't you?"
Gemma was glad suddenly, that she didn't have some sleep apnea machine or head gear to grapple with while getting into bed. It was an odd thing, sliding into bed with a beautiful woman under such strictly platonic circumstances. She probably hadn't since her best (very straight) friend visited her at university that felt like eons ago. Then of course came the thought that the next time they were to be in bed together, they'd have a crew around and be navigating love scenes. It was always so awkward with so many folks around, but in truth this set was already one she felt far more comfortable with. Likely for the lack of male-gaze going into these scenes.
"Should be. I'll keep that in mind." She chuckled, rolling onto her side to face the other woman, and taking a moment to adjust her pillow.
Looking steadily at the other woman, a smile gracing her features as she nodded her agreement. "I feel the same way. Thank you for organizing this. It was indeed a good day." She smiled and shifted a bit so she wasn't quite so close. "I feel more in tune with Elizabeth than I did before."