Lately, it seemed like just about anything could give Rory that dual feeling of overwhelming excitement and then some anxiety over the maybes of their situation. She always cared so deeply about her wife's well-being, of course she did, but this had taken on a whole new level of wanting to care for and protect her wife. It had been like that since the moment they realized Maris was pregnant, and every subsequent confirmation. Rory was taking on the role of protector, and honestly she loved it.

They'd taken the day off, giving them a long weekend, but for good reason. The doctor's office was waiting for them, and Rory was excited. And nervous. And a million other things. She'd dressed casually in jeans and a red blazer, a black chemise underneath. Her coat would come later, but as she headed for the kitchen, she was preparing their to-go mugs with coffee. And toast. Something very light in case Maris didn't want anything that would make her nauseous.

"I know decaf is for quitters, but do you think there's anything to asking the doctor about giving you half-caf? Then you could feasibly have more..." Rory was nothing if not a problem solver, and as she headed back into their bedroom with her question, she looked around for Maris.

Today was a big day. If all went according to plan, they'd hear their baby's heartbeat for the first time. It made Rory giddy with excitement, her whole demeanor more bouncy and excited than even her usual jovial self. But of course with it, brought her nerves.

"I have coffee and toast for you babe." She called towards the bathroom, figuring that's where her wife was finishing getting ready.

The bathroom sink was running and Maris was on her knees. She knew she was technically wasting water, but she hoped the tap would mask the sound of her throwing up.

She was really rethinking that whole "gee, I wish I had some actual pregnancy symptoms" thing now that they'd actually started.

Once she was pretty sure her empty stomach was even more empty she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, then rose to her feet to use the water to rinse out her mouth before reaching for her toothbrush.

The sink had masked the sound of Rory's question too, so she jumped as she looked up and caught her wife's reflection in the bathroom mirror, cheeks slightly red because she'd been hoping Rory wouldn't know she'd gotten sick at all that morning.

Throwing up was embarassing even if you had a good reason for it and she didn't like giving her wife cause to fret.

"What?" she listened as Rory repeated her question, brushing her teeth before rinsing then answering. "Is half caf a thing? God, how do people live without the good stuff?"

Maris may have been feeling a bit more pregnant lately, but she still didn't look it. Her tailored slacks and button ups still fit the way they always did but she'd dressed fairly casually (for her, anyway) in an oversized cream sweater and stretchy tweed slacks knowing she'd probably end up hitching up her top and pulling down her slacks so they could do that whole... jelly on the stomach thing.

God, it was embarrassing that she didn't know what it was called, but she supposed she'd know before the day was done.

She kissed her wife's forehead. "No toast, but we'll grab something on the way home, okay?"

Though Rory hadn't been able to hear what her wife had masked going on in the bathroom, she did get a sense of what was going on. Not wanting to hover or dwell on it, Rory did still touch her fingers to her wife's cheek, brushing her palm over her skin with a small smile.

"I don't know, they're all heathens and we know it." She said with a small smile. "Really just thinking of what will get you more coffee. I feel bad when I go for a second cup." She said with a wrinkle of her nose.

Rory nodded and felt her own swell of nerves hit her gut again. Though, thankfully not the both of them would be throwing up that morning. "Perfect plan." Rory nodded, checking her phone for the time. "You ready? We should get going." She said with a flash of a smile, her excitement showing and hopefully masking whatever nerves were there too.

"One second," she said before hurrying back into their bedroom to grab her current book off the bedside table. She may have had Rory with her, but Maris always hated the idea of being stuck in a doctor's office without a book to keep her occupied.

She tried to read on the ride over, but nerves caused the words to blur until she'd read the same paragraph over and over. She stuffed her novel in her bag and settled for talking to Rory instead, the pair quietly debating which restaurant to go to before they went home even though Maris' appetite hadn't returned yet.

Their doctor had refered them to an office where they could get everything done. Maris was a little anxious at the prospect of meeting and dealing with yet another doctor, but she was kind of glad she wouldn't be dealing with her killjoy of a GP.

This was supposed to be a happy moment and the nurses did seem kind when she checked herself in.

The waiting room wasn't very full, but the other women scattered around caused her pregnancy imposter syndrome to creep up on her again. Almost all of them were further along than she was, at the stage where it looked like they were smuggling basketballs under their shirts.

Like it knew she was feeling left out, her morning sickness started creeping up again. People were right when they said it had no sense of timing, but the queasy feeling that washed over her was fairly mild.

Or at least Maris hoped it would be. She sat very still, subconsciously holding her stomach as she willed it to pass.

A very pregnant woman with a cute blonde toddler playing with a pile of toys set up in the corner gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Is it a girl?"

"What?" Maris asked, surprise and discomfort making her tone slightly sharp.

"Are you having a girl? This one's a breeze, but Caydence over there made me as sick as a dog."

"Oh." Maris' brow furrowed, wondering if you could tell one way or another at this stage, but figured the woman was telling some sort of old wive's tale.

"We don't know yet."

"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. Ginger helps."

"What?" Maris asked, feeling increasingly simple the more this woman talked to her.

"With a poor stomach. Ginger candy really helped me. It tastes great too."

Was this what her life was about to become? A series of conversations with moms about how to keep from getting sick or the best way to change a diaper? She wasn't sure she was ready for the shift. This sort of knowledge didn't come from a book and Maris wasn't sure she wanted to learn it.

Did she want mom friends?

Either way she'd probably need them.

The woman was called in and after watching them go, she looked down at her stomach for a moment. She didn't think she was carrying a girl. Sure, it was possible. And she really wouldn't mind, but Keats had become a character in their story at this point. And everything else had been going according to plan.

Her queasiness started to fade, but there was no use in picking up her book and trying to read again.

She'd been called in.

The exam room was fairly standard, sparsely decorated and equipped with a bed and that stupid crinkly paper roll she loved so much.

A nurse told her to get comfortable, but Maris wasn't about to lay back until she was ready so she sat on the bed while Rory took a seat, reaching for her wife's hands.

"Are you excited?"

She didn't get a chance to hear Rory's answer. The doctor, a young, pretty brunette had arrived and she was much more chipper than their usual one. The sort of chipper that would have made Maris roll her eyes on any other day, but found very welcome in her current circumstances.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Chambers," she chirped. "So we're going to hear baby's heartbeat today? How's mom doing?"

Maris inwardly bristled at the word mom. She didn't feel like one yet. It felt strange to be called one and she wasn't sure she'd want to once she'd joined that particular club. Well, by anyone but her baby anyway.

"Fine..."

"Anything going on with you that you're worried about?"

"No..."

"Any symptoms at all?"

"Well, I have some morning sickness but..."

"That's very normal. Do you find it debilitating? Are you dizzy or having trouble keeping something down?"

"No, no nothing like that."

"Great. You might wanna try ginger candy, it does wonders for your stomach."

Maris couldn't help it, she scoffed.

Did everyone know about ginger candy but her?

"Yeah, I'll... have to get some," she muttered.

"Alright, lay back so I can take a look then we can get a listen. Now I want you to pull down your pants and pull up your shirt."

Sighing a little, Maris did what she was told, a bit taken aback when the doctor started poking and squeezing her stomach.

"Just making sure nothing's out of the ordinary already," she said soothingly.

Maris didn't think there was much stomach to examine, but her cheeks burned all the same.

"Okay, yeah we're good." Dr. Chambers flipped a few switches and pushed a machine toward them before plopping down in a wheeled stool.

"Now this stuff is every bit as cold as movies and tv say it is, just warning you."

She squirted some sort of thick goo on Maris stomach. She jumped immediately. It wasn't just cold, it was freezing.

"God, it's like that really cold first aid spray," she said through clenched teeth at Rory.

Rory for one was glad that they were able to go to a doctor’s office, rather than a hospital. It just felt right, being away from sterile walls and waiting rooms, and heading for something with a little more color and comfort. Of course, it would inherently have some of those sterile elements, but for the most part, it was a big step up.

Besides, this doctor was going to usher them into the very idea of parenthood. It stood to reason that she’d be kind, or at least have a good bedside manner.

Sitting in the waiting room, Rory tried not to let her gaze wander too much to the strangers around the room. She didn’t want to be that creep sticking her nose in others’ business, but she couldn’t help but be excited. She held onto Maris’ hand and gave her a squeeze when she saw her shift uncomfortably. But before she could ask her wife if she was alright, someone else chimed in.

Rory listened to their exchange, a small smile on her face as she took in the feeling of well, community for lack of a better word. Women should always be like that, at least willing to be when passing on knowledge or help that would actually get them anywhere at all. Rory would be glad for the help, or at least going to people closer by for advice than her sister for example. It would help them being in the same time zone.

But Maris and Rory tended to be happy in their own bubble. The down time that they had from work was best spent together, and when they needed time alone to read or just decompress, could give each other that. Even if it was just sitting quietly in the same room, they were great with their balance. Adding people into their circle took time and a special kind of care, one might even say a vetting process that really had a lot to do with the vibe of a person, and how long they could tolerate being around someone else.

It might be nice though. Having other people in their orbit. Having people with kids that maybe theirs would be friends with. Oh god, that was something they’d have to think about, too.

She didn’t have too long to dwell before they’d been called in, and her own stomach was flipping.

Rory just squeezed Maris’ hand in response once the doctor came in, turning a smile to the doctor in greeting. While Maris might bristle at the word, mom felt like such a badge of honor, such a moment. It made Rory’s heart swell with love for her wife.

Mostly quiet during the exchange, Rory held onto Maris’ hand from her seat next to the bed. It felt like such an intimate moment, even if there was someone very necessary to witness it. Rory didn’t even realize how fast her heart was racing until she felt almost a little faint with the kind of anticipation racing through her. Seeing the preparation felt real. She wondered for a moment what would happen if they didn’t hear it yet? If it was still too early?

“Oh god,” Rory said with a bit of a chuckle, but it was a nervous one as she brought her other hand to rest on top of Maris’. She gazed at her wife for an extra moment. “I’m guessing not really in a soothing way?” Rory said with another squeeze to her wife’s hand.

Rory usually had a ton of questions, but she was unusually quiet, anticipation seemed to radiate from around her. She just wanted Maris to be healthy and safe. She wanted the same for their child. “Is there a chance we wouldn’t hear it yet?” She finally asked, her nerves getting the better of her.

“Oh no we should, They might just be a touch shy so we'll have to find them.” Dr. Chambers said with a smile, as she touched the wand to that same spot of jelly.

Rory's question was something she hadn't considered before.

What if they didn't hear anything?

What if all the tests and her now two symptoms were somehow wrong? What if there had never been anything there at all or even worse, what if there had and now it was...

Maris found herself squirming even though the gel became more tolerable as it was moved around. For what seemed like an eternity there was silence accompanied by a sinking, sick feeling that definitely wouldn't be cured by ginger candy.

Then a steady thumping sound. She'd heard someone on tv say it sounded like horses at gallop. It reminded Maris of the steady chug, strangely soothing rush of the subway they'd taken here. Like the ones she'd grown up riding in New York.

She felt relieved, but as she remembered it was a heartbeat, proof something was alive and growing inside her, her heart started to pound too.

The room suddenly seemed very small.

As overwhelming as it was, she found herself smiling, automatically looking over at her wife to see if she was smiling too.

She was quiet for a few moments, not wanting anything to spoil the sound so she could commit it to memory, but her brow furrowed as she realized something.

"It's fast," she murmured before looking over at the doctor. "Is it supposed to be? Is that normal or..."

"Yes, fast is what we want," she assured Maris, giving her arm a little squeeze before moving the wand around some more. "Everything seems perfectly normal."

"Well done, you," Maris whispered down to her stomach, the first time she'd actually talked to their baby. It seemed silly before. Like talking to herself, really.

But now she was sure there was someone there.

Rory had a habit she assumed most people did to varying degrees, where she'd play out different scenarios or outcomes in her mind. If it was something she could rehearse like a lecture or a job interview (or... a phone call, to be honest), she would rehearse it in her mind several times over before she hyped herself up to do the damn thing. But every version of this appointment played through her mind like a blur. She didn't want to set herself up to be overly nervous (good job there), or to expect an outcome and just be disappointed.

She had come to the truth that all she cared about was the safety of her wife and their child. The rest was sprinkles on top.

The feeling that hit her when that fast noise filled the room was indescribable. She didn't even burst into tears like she thought she might, but rather just sort of stared at the machine in wonder, as if she'd be able to see a full but tiny baby there. It felt magical, a moment that she knew would be burned into her own memory forever.

“Oh my god.” She whispered softly, squeezing Maris’ hand and only then tearing her eyes away to look at their doctor when she spoke. It was a relief, and something she hadn’t even thought to ask.

However she felt just hearing their baby’s heartbeat compiled on top of how it felt to see her wife talking to their child. Keats, or whoever they would be, had become the most real thing in that moment. Rory slid her hand over Maris’ arm, squeezing her wrist as her other hand drew her a little closer so she could kiss her temple. “Well done both of you.” She smiled softly, blinking but not wanting to keep her eyes closed for longer than she had to. The melodic sound of their child’s heartbeat was like heaven.

“So they’re okay? Everything looks good?” Rory asked, hopeful but a little softer than she normally would have asked. Dr. Chambers smiled and nodded as she moved the wand around. “Everything is looking great so far.”

"I can give you a recording of baby's heartbeat if you'd like."

"Sure," Maris said softly. Even if she didn't listen to it again (although she had a feeling she definitely would) it would be a neat thing to have around to show the baby someday.

After a few more questions and reminders Maris was cleaned up and ready to go. Her hand was firmly in Rory's as they left the office, but she was still in a bit of a daze, trying to wrap her head around everything that had happened.

She definitely felt pregnant now, the full weight of it. Being the vessel for a new being was a very big responsibility.

Her queasiness may have faded, but now distracted, she still wasn't very hungry.

She ordered a chicken burrito at the Mexican restaurant they liked anyway, knowing now, more than ever that she had to think about more than just herself.

She watched the next table get another round of delicious looking margaritas and mixed drinks almost wistfully. She'd never been a huge drinker, but now that she couldn't have alcohol, she found herself pining for every adult beverage in sight.

She dunked her chip into their bowl of salsa like a toddler playing with their food as she gave her wife most of her attention.

"I definitely liked her more than our regular doctor," she said. "I wonder if she could do our delivery."

Since hearing the heartbeat, Rory had to wonder if her own was about the same speed as their child's. Their child. It would be some time before she actually got used to that word.

It wouldn't have surprised her at all if they'd floated out of the doctor's office rather than walk. She just kept thinking about the sound of their baby's heartbeat, and how real it all felt. She only imagined how her wife felt, how much different it might be for her.

Once at the restaurant, she was glad for it, having not really realized how lightheaded and hungry she was. "We could always get some virgin blended margaritas." Rory said with a smile as she'd caught her wife looking at the other table. She knew that Maris wouldn't ask her to stop drinking on her account, but it also didn't really feel right to. Without consciously even making the choice, she'd stopped drinking when Maris had.

"I'm sure we can ask her. I liked her a lot too. She seemed to not only very knowledgeable, but kind. Both which feel kind of key." She said, before taking a bite of her own burrito.

She was quiet for a moment as she regarded her wife with a small smile. "How do you feel? After that?"

"No, it'd feel a bit like cheating." Maris sighed, raking a hand through her hair (not that there was much there anymore).

But there was a smile playing at her lips. She liked that her wife seemed to have read her mind and come up with a solution to cheer her.

"Besides, think of how good it'll be when we can finally have real ones."

Maris cut into her burrito with her fork, attempting to soak up as much tomato and cheese sauce as possible before taking a bite. Rory's question was understandable, a good question really considering she was still trying to wrap her head around how she felt about everything.

"Like if I think about it too hard I start getting dizzy?" she admitted somewhat sheepishly. "It's a lot."

That was something she'd been saying well, a lot lately. But she didn't know how else to describe it.

There was so much going on lately. So much that would happen. Maris couldn't think about all of it if she tried and knew she would drive herself crazy if she did.

"I dunno," she said, swallowing her bite before working on breaking off another and scooping up some rice. Sometimes you didn't know just how much you needed to eat until you had food in front of you.

"It's just insane to me that something's you know..." She leaned across the table, whispering, "in there. It's a strange feeling. Sometimes it's amazing and beautiful, but then a second later I just start thinking about Alien."

She laughed a little at her own comparison. "It was neat. To hear it..." She made a face, feeling terrible every time she called their child an it, but our child seemed so formal.

"Them," she corrected. "It didn't sound at all like I thought it would."

"That's fair." Rory said with a little laugh, reaching for a chip to munch on as well. "Ohh the sweet sweet nectar of tequila will be calling us home." She said with more of a giggle than before.

She listened to her wife, nodding slowly as she took in everything she was saying. "It is a lot. A lot of changes coming our way." Rory didn't think about it all at once, or at least tried not to. She wanted to be able to enjoy every part of this, but also had the feeling she'd get overwhelmed to think about everything happening at once.

"Thankfully I think your pregnancy will be a bit less eventful than Alien." She smirked, before taking another bite of her own burrito. But she was distracted, not fully even tasting her food because all she could think about was the way her wife looked when she spoke to her belly, and how she looked now, talking about their family to come.

"The heartbeat really didn't. I guess I thought it might be more like ours, but it makes sense that it's so fast." She pondered a moment, tilting her head to look at her wife. "Keats, still?" She said softly, smiling a little. "It feels really real, with the name and knowing that they're really in there."

"You don't know that," Maris sing songed, even though she knew Rory was right. Especially now that the doctor had told her everything was normal, exactly as it should be thus far. It was a real load off her mind thanks to her fears about not feeling all that pregnant just yet.

Then again, her morning sickness had started up right when it was expected to. She probably was worrying a little too much about everything, but she couldn't help it.

She was a naturally skeptical, borderline pessimistic person. She was a first time parent.

They weren't exactly a winning combination.

"Of course Keats," she said softly. Though not as militant about lists, Maris was more like her wife than not. A fellow planner, she rarely deviated from said plans unless she absolutely had to. If they had a son, they were going to name him Keats. The idea was cemented by now, especially since they referred to him as such so often.

They'd talked about Keats before they even knew he could be a possibility.

Was it a he? Maris wasn't sure and had more doubts than ever about women who claimed they "could just tell" so many things about their pregnancy.

She had never felt so in the dark in her entire life. It was maddening, really.

She didn't feel any male or female vibes (whatever that meant). She didn't feel anything rather than sick, really but perhaps because they had rarely talked about anything other than Keats, she had sort of automatically assumed things were going exactly as planned.

That she probably was carrying a boy and that there would be a lot of adjustments there too.

She wasn't really used to male energy. She may have been raised by her father and grandfather. Her best friend may have been a guy but... the idea of hanging out with men was almost as foreign to her as the idea of dating one.

Maris loved women in more than just the romantic sense. She liked to surround herself with them.

"Do you think he has ears?" she asked.

She knew it was probably a strange question. A strange question with an answer probably readily available on google because she'd seen plenty of tools that helped you track your baby's growth and development week by week but she'd sort of vowed not to get caught up in all of that.

It seemed easy to fixate.

"I mean, if there's a heartbeat there's a heart so I assume there will be ears and..." She trailed off, hating that she felt unsure, rambling. "Maybe I should start reading some Keats right out of the gate. Kids need bedtime stories, Ror. I'll start with Lamia."

Her grin was cheeky as she pushed more rice into a puddle of salsa at the edge of her plate, both of them knowing a poem about a vampiric fairy succubus was probably a bit much for a fetus.

Rory laughed, rolling her eyes at her wife’s tone. Eventful as her pregnancy might be (and she hoped in all the good ways), she doubted they would mimic any parts of the space horror flick. Rory had that same fierce feeling swell up in her chest that she did more and more often these days. Silly as it was, she had the thought that she wouldn’t let anything like that happen, or even come close.

Changes were just starting, and for her wife, she knew they would get even bigger. Well, her wife would get bigger too. The thought alone made her smile into her drink. Oh she would have to make sure Maris knew she could swat her away without hurting her feelings if she touched her belly too much as it started to grow.

“Keats. Good.” As attached to the name as they had become, it was the idea of the little person who would go with the name that she really was attached to. The idea that he could be growing inside her wife at this point was overwhelming in the very best way.

It would be an adjustment that she hadn’t really thought about before this very moment. How it would feel to be a boy mom. Well, good luck every other kid in his class because the feminism this boy would be raised around would make him insufferable to anyone who disagreed or had the slightest misogynistic comment. Ah, the thought alone made her ready to beam with pride. She couldn’t wait to see Keats’ powerpoint presentation on modern feminism and why straight white men were more or less obsolete. Okay maybe she was projecting here, but the thought made her giggle.

“I don’t actually know.” She smiled softly, reaching for her phone so she could find out the answer very quickly. “Oh you should absolutely start reading Keats. And I can read some Austen, and of course Mary Shelley soon, too. All the classics. The darkest ones first.” She laughed at the idea of Lamia being the first.

“According to the timeline, the cells are arranging into his face, brain, nose, ears and eyes.” Rory gawked at her phone a bit, finding it fascinating. “He might not be able to hear until around 18 weeks, but I’m betting vibrations, and the energy alone will help him grow strong.” Maybe it was a bit of a romantic notion, but that didn’t matter. “Am I about to become a future mom who downloads four different apps that compares his size to fruit and household items? You bet your ass I am.”

Those silly little apps that told you your baby was as big as a watermelon or a football were exactly what she was thinking about when pondering how far along the baby was growth wise.

She used her phone sparingly, forgetting to take it with her half the time. She didn't see herself getting one but if Rory did and gave her little Cliff's Notes along the way... well, all the better.

"Oh," Maris said softly, sounding a little disappointed as she reached for her Coke.

Praising the baby while they were at the doctor's had felt like such a moment and learning they probably hadn't heard anything at all was a bit of a letdown.

"I think I'll hold off for a little while longer then."

She felt silly. But acknowledging their baby in that moment also felt like the thing to do, even if she was a little sheepish about essentially talking to herself in front of the doctor and Rory.

Rory could see Maris' disappointment, frowning as she reached over and gave her wrist a squeeze. "Oh I won't. He and I? We're going to have full blown conversations. I'll just be preparing him for knowing that momma is always right." She smiled softly, not at all joking.

Though it did feel different, trying out a new name for herself. Trying it out for real. They didn't quite know what they would have their kids call them just yet, but they had plenty of time for it.

"I think we should play him music, too. I remember reading that's good for brain development, and we want brainy kids." She winked, reaching for Maris' hand again and raising it to press a kiss to Maris' palm.

"I nearly burst into tears in there when you talked to him." She told Maris sheepishly herself, though her openly weeping probably wouldn't be that much of a surprise to her wife. "It just feels more real, you know?" She was quiet for a moment, a small smile still playing across her lips. "Ever since you took your first test I just feel this ... I dunno, I'm really all the more protective over you. Both of you."

"You did?" Maris voice was uncharacteristically soft as she slid her hand across the table, nudging her wife's pinkie with her own before lacing their fingers together. "That's exactly why I talked to him. It finally felt real once I heard something."

She ducked her head a little, swallowing down her first instinct, which was to tell Rory she didn't need looked after, especially since she was the one who liked to do all the protecting.

But that wasn't how marriage, even theirs worked. She felt a pang in her chest as she thought about Rory looking out for Keats. She knew she would.

And maybe Maris would need a bit of extra looking after as things got harder. Scarier. And very real.

"We're going to be alright," she said, meaning more than just her and the baby. The three of them would get through this together.

She grabbed another chip. "At least we don't have to go back for a while."

Maris was actually relieved the whole process wasn't as appointment heavy as she'd been dreading thus far, though she knew things would probably amp up the closer they got to go time.

"You know I prefer when it's just us."

"Yeah." Rory admitted with a deeper blush than before, her fingers squeezing through her wife's without hesitation. This was her family, the three of them, in a way that she'd clearly never experienced before, but she also hadn't expected to wallop her so hard, so early. "I could tell." Rory nodded, her voice equally as soft as her wife's. It was a beautiful moment, one she'd always remember as part of the story when they first heard his heartbeat.

It was just a natural thing to let her own mind wander, to what they were in for. To the children they wanted to have. Rory kind of figured she would be a bit of a mess the first time their baby had his first round of shots, or the first time he skinned his knee. She liked to think that she wouldn't be a total pushover, but she would kiss every bruise and soothe every tantrum as best as she could. She knew that their children would love the both of them, and she tried to steer her thoughts away from ever thinking that the one growing inside her wife would need proof that Rory loved him just as much.

On the contrary to that thought, she already felt herself somehow loving her wife more for the gift she was giving them.

"You bet we are." She nodded, her fingers brushing over her wife's knuckles as she rocked them back and forth a little bit.

Rory took a long drink of her diet coke, leaning back in her seat just a little more as she kept hold of Maris' hand. "I know you do. I do too." She leveled her gaze at her wife, unable to really help herself from the way she was looking at her. She loved Maris in a way that often overwhelmed everything else she could even think about, and today was all the more of that. If it were possible. "I'd kinda prefer it was just us right now." She said finally, unable to keep the smirk from her lips as she said it.

"I'd kinda prefer it was just us too considering you look like you want to pin me to the table right now," Maris shot back. Her tone implied it was a statement of fact rather than a bit of playful teasing, but Maris' lip was curled into her trademark smirk all the same.

She noticed the way her wife was looking at her. She always did. She also never took it for granted, especially now that there were worries that things might not always be this way. Things were changing. Maris' body and the amount of time they would have for each other would change too.

Familiar as it was, she did notice a slight shift in the way Rory was looking at her even if she couldn't quite describe it yet.

Maris settled back against the booth a bit, knowing she probably shouldn't get too carried away in the middle of a restaurant, especially when they had a long train ride home.

"So you don't want to tell anyone yet?" she said, letting the conversation turn serious once more. "I don't mind, I mean, the doctor says..."

She trailed off. Rory didn't need to know what their main doctor said. She'd repeated how common it was to lose a baby in the early days over and over again and Maris couldn't bear to repeat it out loud.

Not after today.

"It probably wouldn't hurt to wait a while longer, just to be safe."

"Me? I'm just enjoying my drink..." Rory's brows shot up, her voice up an octave or two as well as though she could feign some sort of innocence. She knew that her wife knew better, but that was the fun of it. Especially because of that damn smirk that was like a siren's song, and earned one that mirrored it in return.

Something about this moment made Rory begin to formulate a plan at the back of her mind, one she'd bring up later. Something about making sure they had plenty of time to themselves during Maris' pregnancy, before their family grew and most of their time was devoted to keeping a tiny human alive.

Rory was grateful that Maris didn't finish the sentence. She knew their choices were fairly limited for their main doctor, but she already didn't like the way she seemed to be so practical that the bedside manner really went by the wayside. But she wouldn't give thought to that. This baby was real in their hearts and minds already.

"I like keeping it just for ourselves for a little while, yeah?" She squeezed Maris' hand and smiled. "Our little secret baby." Rory laughed at herself for how dumb that sounded, but she didn't even care right then. "We should do a family zoom or something. Which, ideally we could see them all in person but that's a lot of planning and postponing." She said, thoughtful for a moment. "I just want to see the looks on their faces when we tell them, really."