After a pretty good day at the Met Rory, Maris and John were having coffee at one of his favorite spots. It was one of Maris' too, which is why her one cup limit stung a little harder than usual. It was kind of hard to find the same quality now that they had moved to a land of tea drinkers.
Faye had been invited, but had to work leaving Maris surprised by just how much she missed her stepmother's presence even if she'd probably see her when they took her dad back home tonight.
Things were going good for John. Though not a prolific writer (something that seemed to be a family trait), John did publish the occasional academic paper and his latest, centering around his era of expertise, WW2, was being received well. Maris often told her father he could cobble all his research together into a book, even going so far as to offer her agent's number, but John insisted he was too busy with work to take all that on. Maris couldn't really argue. Part of the reason she'd finished her book was the fact that she was on hiatus from work without any other distractions.
Maris was dressed comfortably. Her shirt dress was more of a tunic on someone of her height, so she had thrown on black leggings and boots underneath.
She had started to favor slightly looser clothing and she did notice a little something around her midsection that hadn't been there before, but she still didn't think she read pregnant. In truth, she was nervous to tell her dad. John hadn't exactly warned her against getting pregnant but she also couldn't help but feel like he had told her the story of her mother's issues as a bit of a cautionary tale.
Then again, she had asked for him to leave nothing out. She wondered if she should tell him that she had tried (and failed) to search for her mother's family a few months back. She didn't like talking about Christina. She knew it was a painful, awkward subject for both of them. Would he feel hurt? Weirdly offended like he wasn't enough? That was the last thing she wanted. After their awkward conversation about just what had happened when Christina left Maris had sort of promised herself never to bring her mother up again as far as her father was concerned but... maybe he could help. Maybe he knew something about Maris' mother's side of the family he hadn't told her yet. Like it or not, he was the only person she could ask. Even if he was pretty sure he didn't know much more than she did.
Maris couldn't wrap her head around someone knowing so little about their wife. The mother of their children. It seemed so unlike her father in particular.
Growing up, she thought he knew everything there was to know about everything.
Reminding herself to take things one step at a time, Maris sipped her coffee, nodding along as John explained his latest project.
"So really it's a deep dive into what Wernher von Braun was up to when he was working for Germany and what exactly he did for The United States."
"When we hired a Nazi and basically allowed his slate to be wiped clean," Maris said dryly.
"Well, yes. But my paper's more about seeing if the ends justified the means. We wouldn't have gotten to the moon without him. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone completely unproblematic in any period in history, you know that."
"True," Maris said with a bit of a shrug. "I've said that to Rory before. People will laser focus on the bad without thinking about the bigger picture sometimes. Still, Nazi's are..."
"Especially distasteful. I know." John let out a laugh, looking around the fairly empty cafe for the first time as if suddenly aware someone may have heard their slightly unorthodox conversation. "Anyway, are you doing any research at the moment?"
Maris made a bit of a face, knowing her father really wanted her to write some more books. "Not really. I have my...pet historical figures I keep my eyes open for new information for, but I'm not sure I'll have the time."
"You're always telling me I could make time," John countered, getting his daughter back for her own pestering.
Maris laughed. "No trust me, dad. I really won't." Maris slowly slid her hand down to rest on Rory's knee, lacing their fingers together to give her wife's hand a little squeeze before just coming out with it.
"Daddy..."
For all her toughness and complaints about grown women acting like children, Maris still called her father that. "We're having a baby," she said softly.
Maris' father blinked. "No! I... I mean, I know you said you were thinking about it but I didn't expect... that's great." He cleared his throat, nodding toward her a little. "And you're..." He shifted in his seat a little.
"Am I what?" Maris asked confused.
"Carrying..."
"Pregnant?" Maris said, confused as to why her father was confused. "Yeah. What about it?"
"Nothing! I just... well, you don't look it and you're not..."
"Maternal?" she filled in, though not unkindly as she sat up a little straighter in her chair. She knew how her father's mind operated and really couldn't blame him for the assumption. He hadn't hurt her feelings but she had her own worries about not being an overly nurturing sort. Her father had pressed on a bruise, but she wasn't about to attack him for it. "I could be. We'll see."
"And it's going well? You're healthy and..."
"I'm alright so far," she whispered, knowing he wasn't just checking to see if morning sickness and an increasingly aching back were doing a number on her. There was a different kind of concern in her father's eyes and hesitance in his tone. An unspoken question.
Is it anything like what happened with your mother?
"We're very happy. Excited."
Then again, her mother had been happy too. At least in the beginning. Maris picked up her coffee like it was a glass of tequila, taking a long gulp. Nerves and old fears suddenly started to prickle at the back of her neck, but she knew how to make them go away. "Would you like to see? Rory brought our sonogram photo."
John reached across the table to squeeze his daughter's hand, but he smiled at them both. "Of course I want to see. Bring it out."
Rory loved London. She really, really loved the home they had made for themselves, their house, their jobs, the life they had been building. But if pressed, being back in New York would make her admit that she really did miss New York at times. The vibe of the city was entirely different than London, and there was a kind of energy she missed. Now she wasn’t sure that she’d love it enough to raise their family there, at least not for a while, but god it was good to be back visiting. And back in the city that she and Maris had fallen in love in. If she was going to be romantic about it… which she was, of course.
And of course, it felt really good to be around family again. Rory loved the Met, and as they sat down with their coffees, Rory was feeling the caffeine that was mixing well with her own excitement. Today was a big day.
Rory had gone for warm and comfort with her favorite black jeans and boots. She was glad for the ability to move around easily, which all felt like a really good thing considering all she wanted to do was bounce around as they went from the different wings of the Met and now to a favorite spot.
While today was important for all of them, Rory knew that it was extra important for Maris. And probably nerve wracking. Rory didn't want to hover or project any of her energy onto her wife, but she naturally held her hand throughout the day, giving her a squeeze, making sure she had water or a snack.
The two of them had very similar stories, cut down to the very base of only having one parent raise them, but Rory recognized the acute differences that Maris experienced. While Rory could have a resentment towards a woman she'd never met either because of the pain she caused the person she loved most, it was but a blip to the feelings she knew her wife had to wade through. So all she could do was be there and support her through it all.
Sitting with the two Forresters, Rory was pleasantly quiet, enjoying their banter with each other as her one hand held firmly to her coffee mug. But she sensed the turn even before Maris touched her knee, and she eagerly took her hand. She felt a thrill of anticipation, even more so than when they'd told Nonna all those weeks ago now.
After an initial glance to Maris, Rory's gaze was firmly on John, watching for his reaction. Rory's fingers tightened in her wife's, squeezing as her thumb brushed along the curve of hers. She may have actually bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from chiming in how wonderful of a mother she knew that Maris was going to be. She felt it in her gut. But it was important to let them talk this through, she knew that, too.
"We couldn't be more excited." Rory agreed, looking at her wife and clearing her throat.
Rory felt as though she'd been holding her breath for the whole time, and actually realized once John smiled finally, that she'd been squeezing Maris' hand a little too tightly. As if to apologize, she gave her a gentle double-squeeze before letting her go just long enough to dig into her purse. She took the precious picture out of where she'd slid it into a flat part of her wallet, letting her eyes linger on it a second longer before sliding it across to John. "We're not sure what they are yet, boy or a girl I mean. But we've been preparing the nursery and the house. It's really been a fun exercise in, well, nesting I guess."
"We're actually not sure if it's a bigfoot or an alien either," Maris joked, trying to ease some of the nerves she felt as her father took hold of the photo.
"No. No this looks like a baby to me," John said softly, not looking up from the photo for a long while. When he turned his gaze back to Maris, there was a kind of awe there. He tilted his head as if studying her more closely. "You do look well."
Maris smirked a little, fond of compliments especially when they came from her dad who could sometimes be so lost in his own head that he forgot to give them. Although her smile faltered a little at his next question, even if it was a reasonable one.
"And the father... uh, donor..." he started awkwardly.
"Is no one you know," Maris said gently. "No one we know, actually."
John raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought Eli would have..."
Maris scoffed. "You've been spending too much time with Ramona while I've been gone. It's better this way. No weird connections and loose ends."
"Well she's going to be excited," he said, handing Rory back the photo. "Faye too. She'll want to knit. Am I the only one who knows?"
"Hoping if it's alien, it's at least humanoid. Less pressure for school admissions." Rory played into her wife's joke, offering her a wry smile.
She felt a swell of emotion in her chest, watching John look at the photo. Rory had never had a father that was worth a damn, and while certainly one was not needed (their family in particular), there was a certain softness knowing that their child would have an incredible grandfather. No matter if this was Keats or Jane. The most important thing to Rory was that their children know just how many people out there loved them.
The donor was one they'd taken great pains to pick someone who fit everything they wanted. It really was important, in the end, that they have complete anonymity. Rory didn't want to know anything about him more than they did. She certainly didn't want any sort of claim coming from someone they knew. While yes, they could likely trust Eli with such a thing, it really was one of those too-close situations.
Tucking the photo back into her purse, Rory smiled a bit sheepishly at his question. "Well we were going to wait to tell you all, but I think Maris told you we went to Italy for Nonna's birthday? She's a bit of a sleuth and got it out of us."
John raised an eyebrow. "You went to Italy?"
He had never been the sort of overbearing father who demanded to know where his daughter was at all times. He knew Maris was sensible with a good head on her shoulders. She'd never really gotten into trouble as a teenager (though her college years were a slightly different story thanks to the whole Caroline scenario). John knew Maris had even less incentive or obligation to check in with him now that she was a grown, married woman on a different continent, but he was a little surprised he hadn't heard about Italy. Visiting there may have been easy and relatively routine for Maris these days, but it would have been a big deal for both of them once.
Maris and her family had never really travelled far from New York growing up. It was yet another thing that made John feel like Maris, who had admittedly been very independent, mature and self sufficient, was growing even more.
Though nothing compared to the huge shift that was motherhood.
"I think that's sweet," he said. "That your grandmother knows. It seems right senior most family members should find out first."
Maris felt her stomach sink a little at the idea that they couldn't tell her grandparents, wondering if John was thinking about Adam too. She gave her dad's hand a little squeeze before returning it back to her lap. "But technically, we did tell you before Rory's family," she offered. "But we'll tell them tomorrow."
"So they'll know when we all get together?" Maris nodded and her dad leaned back in her chair a little. "Good. I'm looking forward to that even more now. We'll have a lot to talk about."
It was kind of funny, just how much traveling the pair of them could do now, and safely (even cheaply) compared to how it was living in the States. Sure, living on the East Coast was even wildly different from how Rory grew up in California, where a seven hour road trip meant she was just going from San Francisco to Disneyland. In the same amount of time living on the East, she could go through six states. Now that they lived in London, a trip to Italy wasn't such a big feat as it would have been otherwise.
But it was sweet, his reaction was something that Rory took in. She even felt a little prick of emotion behind her eyes at John's idea that the senior of the family should know first. She knew how deeply important Maris' grandfather was, and how much he was missed. She missed him too, clearly on a different level, but he had always been kind to her, and someone she'd loved talking to all those years ago.
It was this line of thought that almost took Rory's breath away when she realized just how loved their child would be. How blessed they would be to have grandmothers and a grandfather, even a great-grandmother who already would adore them. Rory was a woman of many ambitions, but they all sort of paled to her want of a family. She felt suddenly overwhelmed with how much she loved her wife, for giving them this.
"I really can't wait for everyone to be in the know." Rory offered with a beaming grin, squeezing Maris' hand again, and holding it tightly. "It's been fun having it just for us for a while, but having everyone know now is just going to make it feel even more real."
"You've been trying for a while?" John asked.
"Not really. It took a while to prepare, obviously but we got pregnant on our first try."
"That's good." John sounded relieved. He knew starting a family could be a struggle for some people and that not every baby got very far along. He was glad the pair of of them hadn't been dealing with anything too stressful or heartbreaking but even though his and Christina's pregnancy had more than it's fair share of trouble while it was going on and certainly after. Getting pregnant hadn't been a problem. In fact it had been an unplanned, happy accident. Like most men he didn't know much about pregnancy but he did wonder if Maris had inherited her mother's fertility. Although he certainly wasn't about to bring up his ex in such a happy moment. Still, as John was slowly piecing together the idea that he was about to become a grandparent, the thought occurred to him that Christina was too, even if she was about to miss it. It was strange to think about. They had gotten so old, even if he still saw Maris' mother the way she looked when she walked out. Christina was always going to be a 20something in his mind.
Maris was thinking about her mother too. Her mother's whole family really.
The urge to ask her father to repeat everything he knew one last time so she could be sure she hadn't left off even the tiniest bit of information during her recent search lingered in the back of her mind but she wasn't about to broach the subject either.
"And you're fine?" he repeated again.
"Yes, daddy, I'm fine. Puking my guts out like most pregnant women since the beginning of time but otherwise normal.
"And work is accommodating? Because I don't know how things are in England but at my university-"
"Yes, it's fine. Or they will be, I guess. We haven't told them yet either."
"Well be sure they work with you. They have to give you breaks. Accommodation."
"You're making it sound like I'm disabled, dad," she teased gently.
"Well, it's a sort of temporary...ailment."
"Ailment?" Maris repeated with a bit of a laugh in her voice.
"Condition," John said tersely, a little annoyed Maris was picking on him. "I'm just saying all three of us know how administration can walk all over you if you let them when you're healthy. Let alone when you're experiencing something. Remember when my arm was in a sling when you were in middle school? I had to try and teach through that and they weren't very understanding. Teaching is stressful. And more physical than people think."
Maris telling John about their journey and how relatively easy it had been made Rory just relive those moments in her mind, as she quietly listened to the pair of them talk. They really had been lucky, both in how well it had taken, but also in that financially they didn't have to stress so much on trying several times. They were in a good place now, all things considered, and it made Rory almost proud, even if she had very little to do with it.
Maris had made her feel so involved, even if it had taken her a bit to get over the fact that she had to jab her wife with a needle. No, they didn't need to share that with John (nor how intimate and beautifully hot that night had been) but she did still think about it, and how their journey to being parents thus far had brought them together in a way she couldn't have even anticipated.
Rory knew where John's concerns were coming from, and knew that they echoed Maris' as well. Christina was a touchy subject, rightly so, but Rory had the benefit of only seeing Maris as the woman that she was, and not at all thinking about the woman who had missed out on this incredible woman's life. She saw the woman that her wife was, and knew in her gut that their children were going to be so goddamn lucky to have her for a mother. It might be a little too saccharine to say often, but it was the truth.
Rory couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped her lips at the ailment/condition conversation. "Maternity leave is actually really great in the UK, so we're lucky for that. But we haven't fully discussed all that we'll need quite yet. I'll take some time off as well. I have a feeling I'll be a bit greedy with the both of them in the earliest days. But then I'll take more time off when Maris is ready to go back."
John wasn't an overprotective dad. He never needed to be. Even young Maris had behaved like a mini adult. She'd always been good at looking after herself. She hated being fussed over.
His concern was kind of foreign to the both of them. New, but as touching as it was slightly maddening.
Maris knew tiny adjustments would have to be made in every aspect of her life as she got further and further along, but being treated differently, especially at work was kind of what she most wanted to avoid. She wasn't feeble. There was something going on with her reproductive system, not her brain. She was pretty sure she'd be able to carry on with teaching the same way she always did. Just with a sorer back and even more achy feet.
Maris loathed being underestimated. And nothing hurt more than someone doubted her intelligence and considering teaching was how she shared that with the world...
"It's going to be fine," Maris repeated, hating how much she'd used that same word over the past few minutes. "It's not like I teach P. E. ."
"Yeah, because you sit at your desk all day," John teased dryly. Her father had far fewer chances to watch her teach than she had him, but he had lurked in the back of her classroom once.
John and Rory were very aware Maris was animated when she taught. Up pacing the room to make sure every student was listening and able to hear her lecture. Even her hands moved a mile a minute when she tried to get a point across.
Maris was not the sort of teacher putting on movies or handing out worksheets so she could play solitaire in peace.
"Just promise to pace yourself?"
"Alright," Maris muttered, playing discontentedly at her napkin. "But I'm not going to act like an invalid."
"You could never be an invalid, Mari. It's only for a little while." John shot Rory a look as if to say watch her but Maris completely missed it, letting out a sigh.
"Well don't ask me what it is because I have no idea."
"No inkling?" John teased. "That must be driving you crazy. Still, it's early yet. And those things aren't always accurate. They weren't for you."
Maris raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yeah, they told your mom you were a boy. I went out and bought a little Yankees hat and everything. Luckily they set us straight before we painted your room."
Maris beamed, seeming weirdly proud of the revelation. "I do have big dick energy."
John winced, clearing his throat. "Are we hoping for a particular sex?"
Rory couldn’t help but smile at the exchange between Maris and her father. She knew that her wife hated being fussed over, and tried not to herself, but it was really sweet to see how John took in this information from his daughter. With such a momentous shift for their whole family, it was interesting to see how everyone was going to react differently. It really was a blessing, wasn’t it?
There were layers to this conversation, layers that Rory knew she couldn’t even understand. As supportive as she was and as much as she loved her wife, there were shared things that only Maris had been through, and even only Maris and John had. To acknowledge that was important, and Rory loved them both in this moment.
Rory snorted at the idea of either of them teaching P.E. Nothing against those teachers of course, but they certainly had a very different vibe than the short-shorts and whistle wearing ilk. Though she supposed they bucked the stereotype of lesbians being PE teachers. Her own knees were probably too bad from years of sports back in high school and college to actually bend and move that way anymore. No, they had their favorite kind of cardio anyway.
But she grinned at the joke, knowing her wife well enough to know that she was just as active as she was. She couldn’t ever be one of those teachers who just sort of sat back and lectured behind a desk, just like her wife couldn’t. Watching her wife teach had been something she’d loved doing, even back during the first time they worked together. Hell, she felt the same way when Maris got on her soapbox about something, just sitting there with hearts in her eyes as she pontificated about history or opinions on pop culture.
John’s look got a small smile out of Rory, and a short nod to acknowledge exactly what he meant. She had this, and would take care of her wife the way always did.
It was funny to be asked the question about the sex of their baby, when in their minds, they had taken to calling them Keats long before they were even growing inside of Maris. “Of course, that tracks.” Rory laughed, shaking her head a little and bumping her shoulder with Maris’. She refrained from commenting on Maris’ proud revelation because well, she had to agree and wouldn’t do that in front of her wife’s father.
“I think more than anything we hope they’re healthy, and happy.” She said, her words more directed at Maris as she squeezed her hand than anything. “But I suppose there’s a sort of more mystery in having a boy. A little more guess work.” Of course, having a baby at all would have the both of them guessing a lot of the time on what was the right thing, but she was excited to figure it all out.
John had never told her about the doctor's mistake before. Still digesting the knowledge that for a while, at least, her parents thought they were having a son, she couldn't help but wonder if her father was disappointed that Yankees hat hadn't gotten any use. She'd never felt her father seemed disappointed that she wasn't a boy but she knew some fathers had a Tudor like obsession about having sons or treated them a little better than their daughters. So many men saw sons as a point of pride, an extension of themselves, or at least the family legacy.
The idea of Keats and thus, a boy was pretty firmly cemented in her mind but Maris' attitude was similar to Rory's. She didn't really care one way or another. Though she did feel a little more comfortable with her ability to relate to a girl. If they had a son, they'd figure things out.
But for the first time she wondered how having a son might effect other people. Would her father be happy to finally have a little boy in the family? Someone potentially interested in ball games?
And she & Rory hadn't even told John of their plan to name him to (at least partially) name him after her grandfather, something she was kind of hoping to keep a surprise.
Maris' pregnancy was beginning to feel a lot bigger than the two of them now that their families and even work were beginning to be factored into the equation.
Her head spun a little as she thought, and not for the first time, that this whole process seemed like a lot, but she centered herself by wrapping her hands around her warm paper coffee cup, giving her dad a little nod to show she agreed.
"Well, I'm kind of hoping for a granddaughter myself." Her father confessed with a smile. "I think a little girl raised by you two would be a little amazon."
Maris beamed, any thought of dissapointing her father either by her own sex or their baby's, quickly diminished. "She'd be a fearsome thing to behold."
"I'd expect nothing less."
Eventually everyone finished their coffee and Maris' dad wrapped his arm around her as they rose from the table, giving her a quick hug before whispering in her ear. "Love the new hair by the way. Very Jean Seberg."
"Who?" Maris teased.
"Don't act like I never showed you the good stuff," he muttered before letting her go.
It really was funny how there was this idea to “carry on the family name” with sons, as though daughters didn’t hold as much of a right to hang onto their names. Then again, were there any truly not patriarchal surnames out there? Maybe if someone just chose their own. But her own father had shot himself in the foot for any chance of that, too. Both Rory and Maggie had gotten rid of his name as quickly as they could when they were younger, an idea spearheaded by Rory when she was thirteen. By then it had been gone for five years and she didn’t know the man from anyone else on the street.
Their children would have both of their names, and that just felt right.
The praise from John felt new, something Rory really wasn’t used to. But it was the kind of feeling she liked, along with this idea of just how loved their children would be. They’d have such an amazing grandfather. She beamed her own grin at John’s suggestion for what a little girl would be like, raised by them. She thanked him with a smile, as coffee continued on with an even lighter feeling than before.
Rory had been fielding texts all day from Evelyn and Maggie. Her sister was getting away for a weekend for the first time alone in… a long time, and Evelyn was regaling Rory with stories of the way Maggie was worrying and texting her husband on the plane wifi the whole time. The plan was to meet up for dinner, which worked just fine for them to rest after coffee with John, and give Rory’s family time to settle into their own hotel.
“I think the main thing is going to be keeping Maggie from getting too drunk. She hasn’t been without the kids and Kevin in probably a couple years at this point. Who knows how wild she’s about to go.” Rory joked with a wiggle of her eyebrows as she and Maris made their way toward the restaurant.
It seemed fitting to go to their favorite Italian place, intimate and small, but with house made pastas with portions bigger than anyone could put away. Apparently telling Rory’s half of the family over Italian food was just going to be the tradition.
As soon as they walked in, her mother was making a noise that sounded akin to a startled bird and rushing over to the two of them to throw her arms around Rory, and then Maris. “There are my girls!!” She was already misty-eyed, which Rory would have rolled her own eyes at, but her own were wet as well. London really was farther than she’d ever been from them, and she missed them even with the normal calls and facetimes.
While nobody was safe from Evelyn’s first-generation Italian affection, Maggie was always a bit more reserved with her affection. But even then, her friendly disposition and the fact that she’d missed her sister and sister-in-law overshadowed that, as she gave them both quick hugs. “Oh my god you both look amazing. Have you fully immersed yourself enough to go Madonna with accents?” Maggie teased as she let go of Rory’s embrace.
“Not quite, but I couple probably do a good Helen Mirren if the mood really strikes.”
Maris was more worried about telling Rory's family than her own. Faye had been thrilled when they told her about the baby once they dropped John off at the house later that day. Thrilled enough to pull Maris into the sort of crushing hug that pushed all the air out of her lungs, but she didn't feel the tiniest bit annoyed by her stepmom (or even her affection) these days.
Maris had gotten over her fear that Rory's family resented her for how messy their relationship had been at various points. Even though she knew they had no idea that she and Rory had been seeing each other during her first engagement, she had once been anxious about how the timing looked. Not to mention the fact the Berlanti's knew they had broken up before. Maris wanted them to know she was fully committed and not about to make the same mistake twice and that seemed to be true now.
Maris felt comfortable and accepted by Rory's family but she did wonder how they'd feel about the baby.
Maris wanted the Berlantis to feel as in on the process as Rory was because their baby would be a part of her wife's family too. She just hoped they'd see it that way when Maris was the one carrying it.
She didn't think Maggie and Evelyn would be weird about it but... a person could never be sure about any scenario and Maris was usually a pessimist by default.
"Rory's going for Helen Mirren. I'm going for the actual Queen. Really old school, full on received pronunciation once I finish enough radio shows and old episodes of The Crown,"Maris joked.
It was true that there were certain speedbumps to get over with her family and the highs and lows that had gone on between Maris and Rory. They were extremely tight knit, the three of them, and as such very protective of one another. Evelyn knew what an absolute mess Rory had been after her breakup with Maris, and had very gently tried to coax her daughter into seeing whatever bright side there could have been. Rory didn't see one, not for a long time ... and even then, it wasn't so much seeing a bright side, as being able to breathe again and move on. But even then, Evelyn hadn't blamed Maris, because after all, Rory had been the one to move away. She was on Rory's side of course, but there was the gentle long distance is hard, and understanding that Rory had to make a tough choice back then. Rory wouldn't have done it again, no matter that the outcome had brought them back to each other.
Maggie had been a little tougher, taking on the chihuahua "fight me" energy of a little sister that she was wan to do. Even when Rory had announced the dissolving of her first engagement (which felt like an entire lifetime ago at this point), both her mother and sister noted that she wasn't really... heartbroken. There had been immediate concern and worry that Rory would spiral into that dark place again, but she'd assured them she was fine, and they couldn't really argue with it. She knew that the other Berlanti women were smart, and probably figured out there might have been some improprieties when not too long later Rory told them that she and Maris had gotten back together, but neither had called her on it.
They couldn't really say anything, not when Rory was the happiest she'd ever been. Getting back together with Maris was like getting true sunshine back in her life, and she wasn't going to apologize for any of it. Since then, both the Berlanti women had embraced Maris into the fold, even if Nonna claimed the role of biggest fan of Maris. She adored her wife like she had been one of her own granddaughters the whole time.
"Oh she's getting really good at the whole radio speech, too." Rory teased with a grin as they were led to the table to sit down.
Evelyn and Maggie immediately grabbed for their menus, knowing well enough that once they got talking, they'd completely forget about ordering altogether. They both got wine, and Rory glanced at Maris with a smile and a playful eyeroll. But she squeezed her hand under the table, and took the opportunity while her family was distracted to bow her head and drop a quick kiss to her shoulder.
"So tell us everything, do you miss it here at all? Or are you fully engrossed in your British lifestyle?" Maggie smirked, putting on a rather posh accent on the end there.
Since Maris had never really warmed to Maine even after she moved with Rory, she really liked England. Sure, it was rainy and never really warmed up even in the summer months, but weather aside, it was more like New York than not and Maris was used to big city living. She had a feeling she and Rory were both grateful Maris had sold her car. They only needed one and were mostly relying on public transport these days. Maris wasn't a bad driver, but she was a slightly impatient and thus, reckless one.
Most of Maris' lifestyle complaints had to do from her move into pregnancy, not the UK.
Things were slightly better now. She was beginning to shift into the second trimester, which meant her morning sickness was beginning to taper off and her appetite was slowly returning, as evidenced by the way she immediately snatched a breadstick out of the basket once it was placed in front of them.
"Oreos are harder to find but we just grab three boxes whenever we see them," she said. Maris was also pretty sure they tasted different too, but she and Rory could never put their finger on how or why.
As much as Maine had ended up being a great place to live and reunite with Maris, Maine had never really felt like home to Rory. She kept telling herself at the time that it had taken her a while to get used to New York, too. That she'd gotten so homesick when she'd left California after college, that she seriously thought about even moving back and in with her mother again. But she'd pushed through it, and New York had become one of her favorite cities in the world. It had given her Maris, too. Maine had its highs and lows, but it wasn't home. London felt like the home she and Maris were meant to build together.
Did she miss Maine? Not at all, but she did miss parts about living in America. New York, definitely. California, always. But London had been so good to them thus far, and it really felt like it was where they were meant to be. Even if they hadn't quite mastered expat accents.
"That really is the biggest change." Rory chuckled, realizing they should probably stock up on about a dozen packages before they headed back.
"You should have told me! I would have sent some with the huge box of girl scout cookies I sent you." Maggie scoffed, and Rory knew that her sister was already mentally planning her next "from America, with love" package to send them, bless her.
"Next time." Rory laughed, shaking her head as she looked at her wife. She felt practically bursting with their news, even if there was no real segue to it. Did they need one? Rory didn't even think so.
"But work is good? And you're both enjoying the house?" Evelyn always wanted her children to be safe and happy, whatever they did. It was something Rory hoped that she carried with her into her own parenthood.
"The house is going well. We're taking our time with getting it sorted." With a house as big as theirs, Maris wasn't sure it'd ever be done, though she figured homeowners viewed their place as a work in progress, tackling projects one by one as time and extra money allowed.
The nursery was top priority (not that Rory's family knew that yet) but Maris was kind of dragging her feet a bit on that front. Though she was hardly one to follow strict gender roles when it came to decor (she didn't even like pink or the idea a boy could only like firetrucks or baseball), she did think it was probably best to hold off on getting too carried away on that front until they were told the baby's sex.
Although a Peter Pan nursery did seem pretty universal.
She just hoped they wouldn't be working down to the wire, or at a point where she was too huge or tired to help Rory out. She wanted them to work on setting things up together and it hardly seemed fair for everything to fall on her wife's shoulders.
She was glad they were telling Maggie & Evelyn together, but Maris kind of thought the announcement should be her wife's doing. They were Rory's family, after all and Maris had been the only one letting the cat out of the bag thus far.
Breadstick already half gone, she dropped Rory's hand under the table to lift her water glass, feeling slightly nervous. This was so much worse than telling her dad and she hadn't had time to get in her head about Nonna. That had just spilled out.
For every person they told, the whole of the moment seemed so different. Nonna had legitimately pulled it out of them, and seeing the way Maris and John had been was still fresh in Rory's mind. Part of her wished she'd come up with some cute little way to announce it to her mom and sister, but she had just been so excited to tell them all, that she hadn't actually had that thought until right now. Oh well.
The nursery was definitely next on the list, but when they got to it, Rory already had it in her head that she'd do the bulk of any lifting/moving/building furniture, and happily doing so while Maris supervised. She'd already looked up if painting was harmful when they were working on the library, and thankfully it wasn't. Rory loved all of the little projects they'd had so far, and the idea of the section of books they already had for their little one made her smile.
"We're nearly finished putting in the library, or at least how we want it now." Rory said, glancing towards Maris and giving her a small smile. Why was her heart pounding? It was a big moment, she supposed, even though the biggest moments were already well on their way.
"We'll probably start on the nursery next, to make sure we're all ready." Rory said it as casually as she could muster, but let it hang in the air between them. It took a second for it to register on Evelyn and Maggie's faces, but once it did, they both made noises Rory wasn't exactly sure she'd heard them make before.
"Oh! You're not? Are you! When?! How did you not tell me? How far along? Which one of you is carrying? Oh mom don't cry. This is the best news!" The pair of Berlantis were firing off so excitedly, Rory was just laughing for not being able to tell who was saying what at any given moment.
Of course, Evelyn was crying - the most sentimental of all of them. She reached across and almost knocked over a water glass in the process to grasp both Maris and Rory's hands in hers. "Girls. This is such beautiful news. I'm so happy for you both."
Rory rolled her eyes a little, in some attempt to keep her own emotions at bay, and failing miserably. "We wanted to wait until we were sure everything is looking good. Maris is carrying this time, and she's doing amazing." Rory was beaming with pride as she looked over at her wife.
It might have been a little silly and more than a little vain but the fact that Rory's family (and hers) had to ask who was carrying cheered Maris immensely. She knew her body wouldn't stay the same forever. In fact, her favorite work trousers were beginning to dig into her stomach and cling to her thighs, but the fact that she wasn't instantly clockable as pregnant made her happy.
She knew people, even strangers would treat her differently once she was visibly so.
Rory's praise made her beam all the more. Sure, getting pregnant had been a pain and required a lot of them, especially her, but she didn't think she was doing much now except avoiding all the things she'd been cautioned against. Still, it was nice of her wife to acknowledge being pregnant was no picnic and Maris was doing well, even though she figured it was the baby's doing more than her own.
Every visit so far had been nothing but normal. Their baby was hitting all the right marks exactly on time. Maris had never been so happy to hear the word average in her life.
Evelynn's emotional reaction caused Maris to have to clear her throat a bit. Faye had been emotional too, but Maris' stepmother was the type of person to cry at a particularly poignant coffee commercial and something about Rory's mother becoming a grandmother hit differently.
Maris shifted in her chair a bit, that feeling of this pregnancy being big, bigger than herself and Rory, even, washing over her again.
"And everything is very good," she assured them quickly, knowing she'd be worried about the same. "Strong heartbeat, they're growing. It's all practically textbook."
Rory suspected that her family would react this way, that they wouldn't see anything but the bright light that was their family expanding. There was a world when Rory was younger that anyone she dated (and Maggie too for that matter) were sort of seen as intruders. God forbid Evelyn ever dated someone. Actually, Rory wasn't sure if she ever had. She had been so focused on her girls, that even if she had dated someone, Rory and Maggie never knew about it. Rory would admit to being a bit of an asshole (in her own Very Rory way) to Maggie's boyfriends when she first met them, and had maybe scared her now-husband Kevin a little bit. But eventually it all worked out.
Her sister and mother were just as protective over her now as they were back then, but Maris was family. She earned that same tight knit protection and that would go tenfold for their child. No matter if Rory had occasional worries about her own role with their child, she knew now more than ever that Evelyn and Maggie were already in love with them. And probably already drawing up lists in their minds of all the things they could buy.
Their praise of Maris was just more proof of how far they'd come, of the family that they'd allowed to grow over the years. It was a weird thing to be proud of, but Rory really was.
But that was nothing in comparison to how proud she was of Maris. Had she said it enough? Maybe not, but she certainly felt it. Every day she felt like she was a little more and more in awe of her wife. She had wanted to go first and take them into this world of the unknown of parenthood, and that meant the actual world to Rory.
"Oh I'm so glad to hear it. And you're feeling alright, darling?" Evelyn's care for Maris was so sincere it almost made Rory cry. Almost, because she was too busy beaming at her wife, and the whole moment. But Evelyn's tone took on that beautiful motherly tone that she only hoped she'd have, as well.
"I have some books you can have!" Maggie exclaimed suddenly, laughing a little at how suddenly she'd had the thought. "And honestly if you need anything, or have any questions, I've probably been through it with either Emily or Charlie."
Maris couldn't help but smile when Evelyn called her darling. She had know way of knowing it was her pet name for her daughter and she had to admit it was kind of nice to have it be turned around on her.
Apart from Mari and a few hebrew endearments from her grandfather, Maris had never really had a pet name from family before.
And even though she would be somewhat reluctant to admit it, the fact that it had come from Rory's mom meant all the more.
She liked to think she had done fine without much in the way of maternal affection. She honestly had, but she supposed she'd always crave it. And though she and Faye had moved past their rough start now, their bumpy past and the fact they'd met so late in life meant Maris saw her as a friend at best. She wasn't sure she'd ever see her as anything close to a mother.
Being accepted into the fold and in a way, a tribe of mothers was strangely comforting. Maris didn't have very many friends who were moms and the women she did have on her side of things had never raised children. Faye and Ramona had stayed single and only had to take care of themselves.
Rory's mom and sister were bound to come in handy. Even if she probably wouldn't be reading the books on offer because as good as things seemed to be going she knew she'd end up thinking she was going to fall victim to every worst case scenario listed.
"I'd love to read them," she said, figuring a little white lie never hurt, especially when someone was trying to be helpful. Besides, it was entirely possible Rory would.
She gave her wife's hand a little squeeze under the table. "I really don't have anything to complain about. I'm just eager for the baby to be more...active, I guess?"
Maris still hadn't felt anything. Something she knew was normal, but she was impatient. If slightly terrified because she didn't know what something rippling inside you felt like. Certain sci fi movies sprang to mind, but she also wanted Rory to feel the baby moving too.
She'd already spent a disgusting amount of time picturing that cliched first kick moment where she'd rush to move Rory's hand over her stomach and wondered how often the baby would respond to Rory's voice.
Rory's heart felt full, for lack of a less saccharine term. Watching her own mother immediately wrap that same kind of maternal aura around her wife was a special feeling she hadn't anticipated. For all that Rory had lacked much of a fatherly or even masculine energy around her for much of her life, what she did have was this. Her army of women who were ride or die for her no matter what. Immediately a person in her corner, showing her the depth of strength that she inherently possessed. Now watching them truly take her wife into this fold was something that could have made her entirely break down into pieces over how special it was.
It struck her yet again just how special it was that their children were going to have so many people who would pour so much love into them. They'd have such different types, too. Different skills and life lessons they could take from each of them.
Rory hadn't been struck just how lucky they were until this moment for that. She thought about John reading books to their kids, her mother drawing pictures for them to color in like she did with Maggie's kids. Countless other moments she was excited to even picture in her mind.
Squeezing Maris' hand back under the table, she smiled, feeling a little bit ridiculous for how much her mind had wandered.
"Oh, yeah. I remember feeling that way." Maggie said with a wave of her hand. "But cherish this time. You're going to long for it when that little bean is kicking you in the bladder every five minutes."
Rory couldn't help but chuckle a little bit, bumping her shoulder into her wife's. "I think it's more the focus on really being able to feel them inside. That's what we're waiting for now." Her mind was immediately on that first kick moment as well, a moment she dreamed about often.
Truth be told, the baby was already wreaking a bit of havoc on the bladder front. Like most teachers, Maris knew how to hold it and sort of prided herself never really needing a bathroom break in the middle of class. She'd always been able to wait till a free period or even lunch.
That wasn't the case anymore and she knew things would only get worse as the baby got heavier but she kept all of that under wraps. It was nice to hear about this kind of stuff and she knew having women around who could relate to her pregnancy woes would be something she was grateful for, but it was all a bit new.
And Maris was feeling a little shy about everything that was happening to her body.
It may have been the most natural thing in the world aspects of pregnancy were just gross and uncomfortable. And she sort of wanted to shield Rory from them if at all possible.
The big reveal had gone well and Maris felt a bit lighter as they headed back to the hotel after lunch was over. The baby was a good secret, not the sort that weighed on a person.
But she did feel better now that things were out in the open.
Though not as exhausted as she knew she probably would be in a few months, Maris had noticed she was feeling a bit more run down lately. She was going to bed slightly earlier and the drop in her energy levels, however small was actually doing wonders for her insomnia.
She'd begun falling asleep without even realizing it, which had actually resulted on a dropped coffee cup an orange sized stain on their living room rug that she still hadn't gotten out to her satisfaction.
Maris was eager to rest and let out a happy sigh the minute she plopped into their bed. Wanting to relax and not sleep, she pulled her phone out of her purse. She'd been so busy with the Berlanti's she really hadn't looked at it throughout the day.
Automatically scrolling past a bunch of sale notifications from stores she hadn't unsubscribed to, she nearly did a mass delete when she saw two emails from the genealogy site she'd submitted her information to.
YOU HAVE A MATCH!! one title line shouted in all caps.
You have a message from Holliday Frazier said the other.
Why did that one seem more ominous?
What the fuck kind of name is Holliday? Maris muttered. But the last name was what really got her heartrate going.
She knew it was her mother's.
Maris looked at the bathroom door, glad Rory was preoccupied at the moment.
She clicked the match notification first, eyes widening as she realized someone, she had assumed Holliday had added a huge amount of information to the tree.
There were now branches coming off of Maris' name, branches that connected her people she was just as confused about.
Maris had never disliked her name. If anything she always appreciated that she was the only Maris in any of her classes. She'd still never come across another, even in adulthood. But she had often thought it was a little old timey.
Apparently old timey was a theme in her mother's side of the family. Holliday had a daughter named Rhea, a mother named Regina, an uncle named Cecil and an aunt named Christina.
An aunt who was apparently very much alive and only had one branch coming off her name.
A branch that lead directly to hers.
Maris' eyes narrowed when she used her finger to follow the larger branch Cecil, Regina and Christina's names had come from.
Minerva Frazier.
Maris opened her mouth to speak, fully prepared to shout to Rory that she'd finally gotten a bit of family info and that they all sounded like Harry Potter characters but then she realized something.
Minerva didn't have a date of death.
Was her grandmother still alive?
Maris' stomach tightened. It was possible. Rory's was, after all.
"Rory..." Maris called, apprehension creeping into her voice. "Something happened..."
Not waiting for Rory to come back, she clicked off the chart and onto Holliday's message, quickly realizing that she'd sent two.
They didn't offer much.
This is awkward. Hi! I think we're cousins. :)
Then another a few minutes later. My mom is going to be so happy. She's always been so curious about you.
What was she supposed to say to that?
It might have been kind of a weird feeling to have, but Rory had an immense feeling of pride as they walked back to their hotel. She was so proud of Maris, of the two of them as a couple. She was so proud that in their year plus of marriage, they had found ways to come together that she didn’t even know they needed. She was proud of them for taking this step, for wanting their family to grow and again, so goddamn proud of Maris for being the one to do it first. She was treading into the unknown for the both of them, and Rory just wanted to be there by her side for every step of the way.
She was proud of her family and all that that meant, her mom and Maggie, John and Faye. Stretching that out to Romona and Nonna. Their tribe of people who meant the most to them, and then their friends on top of it. It was a beautiful bunch of people that Rory felt so blessed to have not just around them, but creating a world that their children would feel so safe and loved in. When the outside world got more and more scary, the constant of having good people in their lives meant the most.
As much as she loved her family, Rory was so glad once they arrived in the room. She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her sweater before gathering her hair away from her face and tying it back in a ponytail. She excused herself to the bathroom and to wash her face to completely scrub off her makeup for a night in at the hotel. As much as she loved going out and about, she also sort of loved that they had a perfect excuse to snuggle in and order room service. Not that they needed any excuse before.
She’d just shut off the light when she heard Maris’ voice. Her heart immediately jumped into her throat, a sudden panic rising at the words Maris spoke. She almost tripped coming out of the bathroom, scrambling to the bed just to see her wife sitting there. “What, what happened. Are you okay?” She apparently went from zero to “what can I do to fix it” kind of ready to jump into action wife. Good to know.
From first glance, Maris looked okay, just laser-focused on her phone. “Mari what is it?” Apparently also in worry-mode was one of the few times the gentle nickname for her wife came out, too. She blushed a little bit at how worried she was, sitting down on the bed next to her and reaching over to squeeze her knee to get her attention.
"I got a hit on my family tree. She filled it in and sent me a message," Maris said, eyes still glued to the screen, oblivious to the fact she hadn't clarified who she was.
"You can read it, I don't mind," she said, shoving her phone into Rory's hands. Holliday's message was still on the screen and Maris was on a mission.
She was up within seconds, hunching down to unzip her suitcase. Maris had a small laptop loaded up with her grading software to take back and forth to work. In truth, she hated it. The keyboard was small. Typing was tedious and usually resulted in her long, thin fingers getting cramped but it did the job and was light and compact enough that Maris took it with her while travelling too.
The screen was small, but it was bigger than her phone and she wanted a better look at this family tree.
Her fingers never flew across the keys faster, even if the hotel wifi moved at a glacial pace. Once she'd pulled up what she wanted, she sat the laptop between them, then poked at the screen like she was pointing out something crucial to one of her students in the middle of a lesson.
"Look. She's still alive," she said firmly.
With her mind (and heart) going a million miles a minute, Maris wasn't doing a very good job of explaining herself to her wife, but she knew the branches were easy enough to follow. Maris was pointing at her grandmother, but as she looked at the other names scattered around, she realized like they all were. The idea that she had another aunt, cousins, an uncle and a grandmother out there just made the room spin a little faster. She'd never had a grandmother. She'd never had an uncle.
She'd never had a mother either.
But Minerva (the more she turned the name over in her mind, the more she liked it, even if she couldn't help picturing a black professor McGonagall) was all Maris could think about at the moment.
She loved Nonna. She'd secretly longed for a grandmother even before she met Rory's and realized how lovely they could be.
She missed her grandfather.
Did she really have a grandmom? How was she? Adam's death was still fresh and it had taught her that even grandparents didn't stick around forever.
And why was her aunt curious about her?
It was nice to know she hadn't been forgotten or kept secret but why wasn't her mother curious?
And if people had known about her, why hadn't they searched harder?
Maris' stomach knotted, her tone hardening with the rest of her. "Well, their names sound ridiculous."
It was petty. A reminder to not get too far ahead of herself. What was the point of caring about people who didn't care about her?
"And look, my mom's a middle child." She snorted as if to say well, that tracks.
Weren't they always supposed to be selfish assholes?
“Oh wow, really?” Rory calmed some out of the immediate worried space her mind had gone to, but took on a different kind of worry. She didn’t want her wife to get hurt, even if it was an exciting development. If Rory thought she could fling herself in between as a buffer between Maris and her potential family just to make sure, she would.
Rory took Maris’ phone and held her gaze on her wife for a moment longer before reading the message. It seemed nice, friendly. Innocuous. The smiley face at the end seemed to be trying to soften the suggestion they were cousins, but then the latter comment made Rory’s stomach twist.
“Holliday.” She said the name out loud, finding it a bit ridiculous as well, but well the poor girl didn’t name herself, probably. Rory read over the message again, before Maris had returned to her to bring the laptop over.
Rory imagined that Maris had to have a million things going through her head, but for Rory’s part, her chest swelled with a kind of protective indignant feeling on her wife’s behalf. Maybe a little anger. This whole part of Maris’ family was there, just a few taps of the keys away. Couldn’t any of them have reached out to John when Maris was little? Surely any “loyalty” to Christina didn’t go so far as to keep them away from Maris. They’d all missed out as far as she was concerned.
But a grandmother was a special thing, she knew that. “Wow, she is…” She said, peering over at the screen to see the way the family tree laid out. So much had been filled in.
For all that Rory was looking over the chart in front of her, her attention was focused on Maris. Her gaze raised to her when that tone shifted, and she could guess exactly what was going on inside her wife’s mind. But she reached over and slipped her hand into hers, and asked anyway. “How do you feel?” She didn’t want to guess or project her own frustrations of these people who had clearly hurt her wife with a lifetime of absence onto her wife, but rather wanted to get it from her own words. Maybe this was a big blessing, but Rory was still protective.
"Like they're just names on a screen?" she offered. Maris was grateful to have them. As much as she played off her mother's absence, it had effected her. Anyone would have wondered about an entire side of themselves that was missing. Maris knew Rory of all people understood that. All she'd ever really wanted was someone to fill in the blanks. She just wished her father had been able to do it.
John was familiar. Safe. Comforting. These people weren't, no matter how nice this Holliday person seemed.
The tree was more than Maris had ever had. More than she hoped for, really. She could technically take things from here. If Maris knew one thing, it was how to research, but it seemed like she wanted to talk.
She didn't need to leave a message. She certainly didn't need to toss in that comment about her mother.
"There are just so many of them," she said, more voicing her surprise out loud than addressing her wife.
So many people who could have searched for her long before now.
And technically Maris had reached out first.
She wouldn't have if part of her wasn't curious. She wanted to meet them. But she also couldn't think of anything scarier.
What if they were nothing alike? Maris had been raised in an entirely different part of the country. If the tree was anything to go on, Frazier women outnumbered men by a huge margin. She'd been raised by men.
White, Jewish men.
Would she be black enough?
A strange question and Maris knew that at least part of her was and that there was no right or wrong way to be but... she was kind of culturally deficient in that department.
She didn't look black.
She suddenly found herself wondering, and not for the first time, what her mom's side of the family looked like.
"I don't know, it's a lot," she said finally, gingerly taking the phone out of Rory's hands to look at Holliday's messages again. The site didn't have a feature that told you if someone was online, or even if they read your message. Maris knew she didn't have to answer her cousin right away, if she even answered her at all. She could buy her time.
She could do her own research.
"Holliday is a weird name, right?" she said, lowering the phone and looking over at Rory for a moment before quickly typing it, as well as the word Arizona into google.
"How many Holliday Fraziers can there be? We're spying."
Apparently one right at the top of the results list. Maris clicked on a linked in profile, reading aloud.
"Holly Frazier.... well, I'd go by Holly too," she muttered before continuing. "Software engineer. Masters in computer programming from Howard University. Fluent in ASL and Spanish."
Maris blinked, suddenly feeling guilty for all her teasing. This... was impressive. Howard was an amazing, well regarded, historically black college. She didn't know anything about computers. And she certainly didn't know Spanish or sign language.
Why sign language? Why Spanish, even? Her father hadn't said anything about her family being Latino. She was pretty sure they weren't.
Maris stared at the photo more than anything else. Holly was pretty. A slightly racially ambigious woman with a faint tan and striking green eyes that were noticeable even behind very large glasses. It was a small photo and only showed her from the shoulders up but she was wearing an olive green blazer that suited her nicely. She wasn't smiling but she didn't look mean.
She seemed a bit like... well, Maris.
Maris clicked off, knowing she wasn't going to find the information she needed there.
After about five minutes she found an instagram and her heart started beating a little faster. There weren't many selfies. Holly seemed to take a lot of photos of her dog, coffee cups and an elementary school aged girl with braces wearing different colored chucks in each of the photos Maris scrolled by. Rhea?
It all seemed very bland. But Holly's bio offered some information she wasn't expecting. She usually hated people who listed descriptors in their bio. She was kinda glad Holly had.
Holly Fazier. Nerd, Christian, mother of a dog, cat, lizard and one tiny human.
Oh, that was bad news. Maris loathed pious types and Christians were especially annoying. How was she going to react to having very gay cousin with a wife and baby on the way?
But one last descriptor called for even more pause. Hearing impaired.
Maris clicked a video Holly had on her page. She and Rhea (?) were on a leather sofa laughing at the dog in the photos.
"He keeps stealing the cat's toys! Ree, I think we need to take him back to the pound. We asked for a dog not a cat."
She signed while she talked.
The little girl just laughed and the video cut off.
"She's deaf?" Maris mused aloud. It didn't change anything of course, but it did make her nervous about how they'd communicate in person. And she did know that sort of thing ran in families. "I wonder if anyone else is."
Maris kept scrolling. Holly posted a lot, but she supposed that made sense if her cousin was all about computers. A post that mentioned "mom's birthday" warranted an automatic click. Regina (because she assumed that was who she was looking at) was beautiful. A slim, glamorous looking woman hunched over a small, tastefully decorated cake. There was a video straight after so Maris clicked it, too immediately wishing she hadn't.
"If you drop that cake we're gonna fight, Holly. I'm not driving down to Phoenix for another one."
A woman's face shakily came into frame.
Maris may have never heard her voice before, she many have only had one photograph, but recognized her immediately. She was so startled she accidentally clicked a button to stop the video.
The woman's face stayed on the screen.
"That's her," Maris said softly, nodding almost meekly toward it. "That's... my mom."
It was a practical answer, and Rory kind of didn’t expect anything less from her wife. On the one hand, it was good that there was that level of protection, names on a screen, far removed enough that Maris was in control of the situation. She may have been the one to reach out inadvertently by doing her DNA test, but she held all the cards here. Rory was just going to be as supportive as she possibly could - while still being very wary of these people who had in them just by the nature of who they were the ability to hurt her wife.
Rory knew well enough that she couldn’t exactly protect Maris from anything like this, nor was it her place to put herself in between Maris and her extended family for a multitude of reasons. As her wife, what exactly was her place? That answer came swiftly, just like it was for any other thing: It was Rory’s place to be alongside her. To hold her hand when she needed it, to hold her upright if she needed that. She was her support system and in her corner no matter what. That didn’t change because of whatever any of the circumstances might be.
“It is.” Rory nodded, sitting back a little onto the bed to cross her legs in front of her and lean over to look at the laptop as Maris clicked away. “Oh getting our sleuth on, okay. We should be very good at this.” It was a good sign, getting into the spying part of the natural curiosity. Rory was curious too, wanting to know who these people were who had some affect on her wife, and the person she had been born, regardless if they had nothing to do with who she was. Rory adored her wife (obviously), and often thought that her Maris was all her own making, a woman who was so beautifully unique, and entirely her.
The information seemed to come in waves, and as interested as Rory was to find out who this woman was, that she spoke a couple of languages and had her fur babies, Rory’s attention kept just drifting back to Maris. She was silently just checking on her, trying to get a sense of how her wife was feeling with this onslaught of information. This was her family after all, no matter how estranged. Rory couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to meet them, too. Rory was protective, yes, but she also veered into being nice as a default. She wondered which one would win out in that scenario.
The videos were a whole different look into the life of Holly Frazier. And then suddenly it was no longer about the cousin. Rory felt the color drain from her face in the sharp shock of seeing the woman that Maris had only shown her one photo of. “Wow.” She said quietly, taking in the moment, her hand instinctively shifting to rest against the small of her wife’s back, her fingers brushing gently. “She’s really pretty.” It might have felt like a dumb comment to make, but she was. And well, Maris looked like her.
Rory’s gaze returned to her wife, her own empathetic soul soaking in the depth of the moment. “Are you okay?”
Maris wasn't sure how to feel about Holly. Seeing her in motion helped her feel more tangible, less like a name on a screen, some faceless entity behind a keyboard, but she wasn't sure what the videos, especially the first one told her. If anything, it left her with more questions than answers.
How old was Rhea? Why had a Christian presumably named their daughter after a Greek goddess? Where was her father? She hadn't seen any men on Holly's instagram. Maris wanted to know if there was a story there. If Holly had chosen to raise a baby without a man well, maybe they would have something in common.
She couldn't help already thinking similarities between her and her cousin were in short supply.
Regina was beautiful and youthful looking like her mother and Maris found herself especially curious about her aunt. If only because she now knew she was curious about her.
Seeing and hearing her mother was a suckerpunch to the stomach. With all her father's talk of her mother "not being close" to her family, Maris had sort of assumed she was estranged from them.
Yet here she was at a family birthday. The person entrusted to order and fetch a cake, even.
Christina was apparently a family person.
She just hadn't stuck around to be a part of the one she'd helped start.
And Maris had to admit seeing her in the middle of this one hurt. Christina had never stuck around for barely any of her birthdays.
She'd never even teased her about potentially dropping something.
At least that was what Maris thought she said. It was hard to hear anything over the thud of her heart in her ears when she popped up on screen.
"Yeah, she's pretty," Maris muttered absently. As much as she agreed with Ramona's assessment her mother was a beautiful woman with an ugly interior, Maris had often thought as much growing up, trying her best to find any similarities between her mother's face and hers.
She didn't think they looked alike. She'd long since come to the conclusion she looked like her father.
If only out of spite.
Maris wasn't sure how she felt about anything yet, so she didn't answer. She just jacked up the volume and played the video from the beginning to hear what her mother had said again.
This time she let it play the whole way through. Once the camera righted itself and focused on Maris' mother, dressed impeccably in a black pinstriped pantsuit and a diamond pendant around her throat (Christina was apparently doing very well for herself) Maris realized she was signing as she spoke too.
Had they all learned for Holly's sake?
"It's slippery," Holly, the voice behind the camera said. "I think everyone's been tracking in the rain."
"Are we sure those aren't Reggie's tears?" Another voice from off camera quipped. It was slightly husky. It sounded like an older woman.
Reggie, Holly, Ree Maris repeated in the back of her mind. Her mom's family may have all had old fashioned names, but most seemed to go by something shorter.
"Oh be quiet, mama." Maris' aunt Reggie spoke up for the first time from behind her cake. Her voice was much softer than all the rest. Yet somehow smoother, almost regal. "I'm not gonna cry till I hit 60 next year."
"Let me guess, you want a bigger party," Christina joked.
"A bigger party that ends with Denzel hopping out of my cake."
There was a smattering of laughter before the video cut off. Maris clicked away, knowing she had watched more than enough for one day.
"Mama has to mean my grandmom. It sounded like an old lady, right?" Maris said, voicing her thoughts out loud.
Rory couldn't actually imagine how Maris was feeling. How weird it must be to just see this glimpse into the lives of people she didn't know but was connected to. Rory had been a bit blind to anything that might have gone on with her father. She didn't want to know. She and Maris had a bit of that in common, but it was very much different as well. Rory could only be there for Maris and empathize with how she must feel. Rory's own emotions were going through the wringer just trying to latch onto one feeling over the other.
It was a lot to take in, and it was not lost on Rory that all of this was coming on just as they were well on their way to expanding their own family. Emotions were already running high.
Rory was quiet as the video played again. She curiously looked over all the women as they came on screen. These were people that she should know by now too. The fact that Maris hadn't been contacted first, that they hadn't been eagerly involved with her life since she was a baby -- these were all things that made her blood boil. She didn't want to come in too hot when Maris was clearly going through it all on a much more profound level... but she was seething a bit.
They had better have some damn elaborate excuses. Rory leaned back a little, pressing her hands into the bed and curling her fingers in the fabric of the comforter. She didn't want to be angry, but it was hard not to feel indignant and altogether protective of her wife.
"Yeah, it did." Rory nodded, closing her eyes for a second before she sat up straight. "Well at least they all like cake. They can't be all bad, huh?" Rory's attempt at lightening the moment fell flat, and she knew it.
Rory looked at her wife, reaching over for her hand and lacing their fingers together. "That was a lot to take in, honey."
They seemed fun. The sort of family who joked and teased each other in the way her slightly more serious one didn't. It was clear they were close. They were obviously fond of each other and in a way that hurt more. Maris hadn't bothered to really look at the tree and figure out everyone's ages, but Holly looked about her age. It stood to reason these people would talk to Maris very much the same. They should have grown up together. She should have grown up with all of them.
Even the potential confirmation her grandmother was still around didn't help much. If anything it hurt worse the more she thought about it.
She could have looked for her too. She'd heard so many stories about women being relentless, thirsty even when it came to pestering their children for grandbabies. When so many women longed for them, how could Minerva ignore one? If the tree was anything to go by, Maris didn't have any other cousins. So that meant she just had Holly. A small knot of jealousy settled in her chest at the idea that Holly, an "only" grandchild, had probably been doted on fiercely.
But would she really fit? Especially now? She wasn't entirely sure. She'd missed out on so much. Even if she was much more extroverted than John and Adam, they had been the ones to shape her.
"Yeah, well, everyone likes cake," Maris said, a statement of fact as much as it was a warning not to get too far ahead of herself.
She didn't know these people.
And that was their fault.
She shut the laptop, carefully placing it on the bedside table. Without realizing it, she burrowed closer to her wife and the urge to rub her stomach, however little extra padding there was at the moment, was automatic too.
"I don't want to deal with this right now," she said after a few beats of silence. "It's the worst possible time."
She knew that wasn't entirely true. She'd started her search precisely because of the timing. Their baby was on the way and she didn't want it growing up in the dark like she did, but... it was a lot.
And as easy as things were going, there was no denying Maris had a lot on her plate right now. She wasn't about to stress herself out when stress was one of the few things that could hurt the baby right now.
She decided she wouldn't answer Holly just yet, but she knew she would look, both at the filled in tree and her cousin's social media now that she knew where to find it.
It felt a little creepy, especially when her own social media didn't use her name so Holly wouldn't have the same luxury to lurk but she didn't feel bad about withholding information from the Fraziers. They'd certainly done the same to her.
Besides, she knew there were some things that weren't so hidden. Holly could probably find her linked in, her author's page on her publisher's website, a few scattered articles from when her book was published.
What would she glean? That Maris was a teacher and historian who had written a book? In a few articles she'd mentioned being a lesbian and talked about her desire to read more of their history lead to her research and thus, her biography, but that was it.
Maris liked to think she wasn't concerned if she cared. She'd always been out and had little patience or care for people who thought differently of her for who she slept with, but she knew this was different. She did feel a little uneasy with the idea of Holly potentially sharing that with her family. If she was Christian, it stood to reason that the rest of them were. For all people's droning about "free will" and spiritual journeys, Maris knew religion was largely inherited, even if she hadn't fully accepted her father's and grandfather's.
She'd have to look for any peace of mind. She wanted to know just what sort of people she was dealing with to help her sort out if she actually wanted to well, deal with them, but...
"Arizona is far," she said after a beat. "I doubt we'll ever... see them." She played with Rory's fingers. "And she did give me a lot to go off of, I can take the older names and go from there. Maybe try to find some actual history? You know, so I can tell Keats we're 1/47th Cherokee princess or something," she joked weakly.
Another thing the pair of them had in common was that neither of them had a big family. Rory kind of preferred it that way, despite getting together with some of her Italian cousins once every few years. She was always sort of aware that she had more family out there, and would vaguely hear about Aunt Mia or Uncle Matthew and their kids, though she wasn’t entirely sure how they fit into the actual family dynamic. Evelyn had been an only child, so these were more likely the “once removed” kind of cousins and extended family.
As far as Rory’s actual day to day family had been, it was the trio of her mom, sister and herself. Even when her grandparents had lived with them for a time, and as much as she loved her grandmother, the immediate family was just the three of them. She wondered how it would feel to suddenly see a whole part of her family that she didn’t know about. Bigger, maybe louder, more boisterous.
It didn’t sit right to see her wife go through this, and not be able to do a thing to help.
“Of course, sweetheart.” Rory said gently, resting her head against her wife’s as she moved closer. The family that mattered most was in this room. Rory loved their parents, their friends, the family that they had, but much like growing up with just a trio, this was what they had here and now. Rory loved Maris fiercely, a kind of love that only expanded after they were married, growing with each new trial or triumph, and all yet still expanding with the knowledge that her wife was carrying their child. Nothing else mattered as much as them.
It was a nice notion of course, but she clung to that idea. Her thumb brushed along Maris’ hand, a soothing rhythm as she just let the quiet of the room hang in between them. She didn’t want to push Maris into talking about anything, nor did she want to surge past it if she did want to. They didn’t have to talk all the time, which was just another of the many things she loved about their relationship.
“Far, and hot.” She agreed, though it wasn’t all that far from California. The Christian thing certainly was worrisome, but then there was the red state of it all too. She knew especially in the last election the state had gone blue, thank GOD, but it frayed her nerves a little bit to think of judgement that could come from them. She hoped not. She hoped that a predominantly female, predominantly diverse group of women would be more progressive.
“Okay but we’re still not putting Tiger Lily into the nursery mural.” She smirked a little, sliding her free arm around her wife and hugging her a little closer. She kissed her cheek gently, holding her tightly. “You do love your history, and I think that’ll be a good thing for you, to dig into that part of it?”
"Oh no we're including her," Maris said firmly. "Peter Pan has about three female characters and they're all morons, but they need the representation. I'm not bringing our baby home to a patriarchal sausage fest."
It should have been a nice segue into a much needed different topic, but Maris was thinking a lot about the baby at the moment. And how it factored into all of this.
"I'm very attached to it, you know."
Maris still felt slightly terrible every time she called the baby an it, but since they didn't have proper descriptors yet she knew Rory (and whoever was in there) would understand.
Maris knew it might sound like a bit of a shock even if she knew Rory understood she was excited. She was the one constantly saying she didn't want to get too far ahead of herself or jinx anything. She had just been complaining about not feeling the baby move. But she knew that would only cement their already tangible connection into something stronger.
Maris loved their baby already. Which is why her mother's choices were more baffling than they had ever been.
"I don't understand how she could-"
Maris trailed off, knowing she didn't need to finish the difficult sentence. Or explain who she was.
She idly stroked her stomach. "It doesn't make sense, you know? Any of it."
Rory snorted a little laugh at Maris' response, nodding as she leaned into her and kissed the side of her neck. "You're right. I'll be happy if our kids think the only men who exist are your father and Eli." It was a joke, but not... entirely. Rory didn't trust many men beyond those she'd inherited as her extended family. And with the way many men acted these days, their own son, if they indeed did have one, would act that way over her dead body.
A small smile curved her lips when Maris said it. She knew about the nerves Maris had, even the reservations she had before they really tried for their child, but hearing her wife put so plainly that she was attached to it warmed her heart more than she even thought it would.
But that warm feeling came with it the other side of it. The heartsick feeling when Maris alluded to her mother. Rory didn't understand it either. As much as they had in common with being abandoned by a parent, Rory knew that it was vastly different for Maris. Worse, even. Not to compare apples and oranges, but an absent father was more socially understandable. People could hear a father left a family and sort of sagely nod like oh yes, of course. That makes sense. Not that it did to little Rory, but she was fine. She couldn't understand how a mother could leave her child, either.
Rory wasn't the one carrying their child this time, but that didn't make them any less hers. She worried sometimes that the baby wouldn't bond to her as well, or that she wouldn't know what to do, either. Then there was all the extra things she would have to do to be even legally connected to their child that she avoided thinking about. But even through all of that, Rory was in love with the little one they hadn't even met yet. Who hadn't even started kicking to make themselves known. She knew she would love them with her whole heart because she loved Maris with her whole heart already.
"I know. I wish I had some very enlightened answer about it, but I can't make heads or tails of it either." Rory played with Maris' fingers now, running her fingertips along her palm. Her mind wandered over all the events of the day, of and everything Maris had just offered up. She couldn't help but think about how Maris' attachment to the baby growing inside of her might correlate to the weight of the other part, all about her own mother.
"I meant what I told my family earlier, you know." She raised her gaze to look straight at Maris as she spoke. "You are doing so amazing with everything. Watching you care for our child every step of the way already just..." She paused slightly, feeling a wave of emotion hit her without her damn permission, but what else was new? "It makes me love you more, and I didn't think that was possible." Rory sighed softly at herself and bowed her head against Maris'. "I can see what kind of a mother you're going to be, and our kids are so lucky."
"Kid," she said firmly. "Don't jinx me into twins, Rory."
Maris hadn't forgotten they wanted two eventually, but she definitely wanted to ease into motherhood.
Her warning was mostly a deflection. Rory's words meant a lot and with emotions running high after Holly's message and everything that followed, Maris thought her wife's praise might cause the levee to finally break.
She nuzzled her neck, wordlessly showing that they were appreciated all the same.
"I won't leave," she whispered, burying her face in the crook because she didn't trust herself to look up and at her with pressure rapidly building behind her eyelids. Even if she was confirming what Rory already knew. "No matter what, I promise."
"God, watch now I'll discover twins in my family and I'll be the one who has twins." Rory scoffed a little laugh, but she was glad that the two of them were only having one to start off with. There was so much that they could have gone through if they'd had to have more involved fertility treatments. One was plenty for now.
Rory turned towards her wife, enough that she could slide both of her arms around her and pull her in even closer than before. She knew when her wife was feeling emotional, vulnerable. And she also knew how much Maris hated that much of the time.
She just held her for a while, nodding at her promise. But that promise caused a swell of emotions to rise in her, too. "I know you won't." She said quietly against her ear, and there wasn't a hint of hesitation to it. She knew Maris, she knew how deeply she loved and how fiercely protective she was. They had fought so hard to be together again, and spent so much to build their life together. Rory wasn't worried in the slightest that Maris would walk away from her, or from their child.
"I love you so much." She said softly, kissing her neck and burrowing her own face into the curve of it. She held her tightly, kissing her neck again as she breathed her in.