Life was pretty much back to normal now that Maris was back in Maine. When Rory suggested they extend their trip, she agreed almost immediately. Her hiatus from teaching (the real world, really) meant that she had nowhere to be and thanks to her new location, no one to really miss her or even notice that she was gone.

Still, she'd returned to good news in the form of a letter stuffed haphazardly into her full mailbox. A publishing company was interested in her book. All they needed was her reply.

The idea that she was a soon to be published author had given her an extra spring in her step the last few days. There was a smile on Maris' face even as she took a basket of laundry over to the sofa to fold while she watched tv.

There was no need to worry about jinxing things anymore, but she still hadn't told Rory the news, choosing to give the other woman a little space while she navigated the difficult terrain that lay ahead. Maris had honestly barely talked to her at all, not wanting to seem like she was pestering or even coaxing her lover during what had to be a difficult time, though she couldn't resist sending her a daily good morning.

Maris' cat, elated to see his owner and not the neighbor she'd given twenty dollars to check in on him during the previous week, dozed at her feet.

Rory wasn't an inherently impulsive person. She wasn't an obsessive planner, but she also didn't really drop everything at a moment's notice to go off on a whim. That was exactly what happened as their beach vacation stretched out for a few more days. She barely gave an excuse to anyone at home, either. Rory knew on some level that she would be walking into a shitshow, but maybe knowing that gave her a little boost, too. At least she knew what would be coming. For those blissful extra days, she couldn't care at all past the beach, good food, plethora of drinks, incredible sex -- all of it was paradise indeed, and going home would happen when they were damn ready for it.

But reality did drop, and her anxiety rose to new levels as soon as they were back. Jess had been distant, and she took that with relief. It gave her a moment to gather herself, to figure out what she was going to do, how she was going to do it.

In a word, it was awful. Tears on both parts, yelling and accusations, apologies, something just short of begging before it turned into this hot amount of anger. The anger Rory could deal with, it was the hurt that was harder to stare in the face of. In the end, it was over. Truly and really over. Rings given back, plans put in place to gather things left at each others places, to call the few things they'd already booked for their wedding that wouldn't be happening anymore. God, she'd have to call her mother.

There was nothing particularly amicable about Rory's breakup with Jess. She didn't like the way it felt, but who ever really liked being the bad guy? She didn't tell her about Maris, because honestly, why twist the knife? It was as much self preservation as it was kindness.

Rory had been in her car and had every intention of going home. Her chest ached and her face was flushed, her eyes burning from tears that fell. Anxiety weighed heavily on her, and so when she took a left turn that would take her further from home than the right would have, she knew where she was going. It took her barely any time at all before she was parking her car on the street outside of Maris' house.

She should have taken time to be alone, given herself space to feel the depth of the death of her relationship. Rory instead couldn't handle the idea of being anywhere Maris wasn't, no matter if that wasn't entirely fair. She was at the door moments later, knocking, trying not to let emotion flood over again.

Maris shouldn't have been surprised it was Rory at door. Aside from the occasional delivery person, she was her only visitor these days, but her eyes widened in surprise once she saw her, though her brow almost immediately furrowed with concern over the look on her face.

Maris' stomach sank.

She'd told Jess.

Maris should have been happy about it and on some, somewhat shameful level, she was. But it was hard to feel anything but concern for the woman in front of her, a huge dollop of guilt over what she'd done to another sitting on top of it for good measure.

"Oh god, come here," she breathed, almost immediately pulling the other woman into her arms. She'd never held Rory more quickly, not even waiting to get them inside the house first.

It wasn't that Rory was expecting to be perfectly fine after dashing her relationship into the "former" bin, but she didn't expect it to hit her so hard. She had loved Jess, in her own way, and enough that she'd thought about a future with her. It just so happened that her heart belonged to someone else, and always had. While she was adamant both in the breakup itself and in her own mind that she wasn't doing this for Maris, it was clear that she had made her choice. Rory just didn't want it to suck as badly as it did.

Seeing Maris oddly enough felt like finally a safe space. She hadn't intended to come straight here, and probably made her an awful person on many levels, but she needed to be with her. It was unfair to Maris to put any of her emotional shit onto her, and probably also unfair to the relationship she'd just ended to be right here, right now.

Rory practically collapsed into her arms, her chin against her shoulder as she allowed herself to just be held by Maris. She hadn't realized how emotionally exhausting it had been. Even if it felt (in a terrible way to notice) a flicker of the devastation she felt when things ended with Maris. This felt more like guilt, with Maris, it felt like her world ended.

"This is so stupid." She half-grumbled, half laughed at herself, wiping at her face because tears had spilled over her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She said, kissing her cheek and standing a little straighter, though her arms didn't loosen much at all for around her. "You shouldn't have to deal with this."

"Come inside, you're here now," she said, waving off her concerns. Her stomach sank even further when she noticed Rory had been crying. She'd never been very good with emotion. No one could ever accuse her of being a nurturing sort, but she had always been fairly protective of Rory.

It hurt her to see her hurting.

"Sit," she said, gesturing toward the sofa. "I'll make you some tea."

Maris disappeared into the kitchen before Rory could answer, hoping the brief time it took her to make a pot would give them both some time to pull themselves together a bit. She lightly bit her knuckles as she tried to sort out what she could possibly say, not quite trusting her ability to cheer Rory up, especially when the predicament they found themselves in was partly her fault.

The shrill whistle of her tea kettle her out of her thoughts, but she was still distracted enough to spill a bit of hot water on her hand as she poured some into Rory's favorite cup. She shook the pain away, wiping her hands on her skirt before taking a deep breath and heading back out into the living room.

"What happened?" she asked softly once she'd sat her tea tray down on her glass coffee table.

Rory wasn't exactly used to being looked after. She was so independent by nature and was often the nurturer in any given situation, that so rarely it felt like she allowed anyone to flip the script on her. Maris being the one to draw her inside, to make her tea, to calm her frayed emotions was almost unexpected, but soothing nonetheless.

She felt so ridiculous, coming here in tears, and tried to shake the overly emotional feeling as she walked into the living room and sat on the couch. That fateful couch that could be seen as a catalyst for this moment. No, it would have always happened, on way or another.

"Thank you," She said softly, taking in the aroma of the tea Maris had made and sitting sideways on the couch to face her, one leg bent so she could rest her elbow against it. "It was awful." She said simply after a moment, exhaling deeply so her lips made a sound.

"Don't take any of this..." A gesture to her own face, "As any regret or anything. It was the right decision, for me. And then for us." She nodded, reaching forward to give Maris' arm a squeeze. "It was just emotional, and I felt guilty for ... I guess leading her on for longer than I should have. She cried, she was so angry and hurt. I just..." She shook her head, fumbling over her words. "I hate hurting people."

"Nobody likes hurting people, but sometimes we have to." Maris had hurt Rory by being short and cold with her before their break up. She'd pretended to be okay with things being over because it was the best option at the time. She needed to give Rory an excuse to let her go, even if neither of them really had.

In hindsight, that had probably been a mistake. Unresolved issues and feelings had probably lead them right to where they were now and pulled Jess into the crossfire, but Maris was mostly guilty about what she'd directly done to cause the other woman discomfort, even if didn't really know just how much Rory had told her.

It seemed selfish to ask if Jess knew about her and in the moment, it hardly mattered. Maris was more concerned over whether Rory was alright.

"It was a kindness, really. To let her go. She'll see that eventually." She tapped Rory's chin, tilting it up with her thumb so she was forced to look at her. "It's better for you too. You're free. Feeling better? The worst is over, at least." She managed a weak smile. "And of course she was upset. You're amazing."

"Yeah," She said somewhat miserably, though for whatever reason, her mind went right to her breakup with Maris as well. She hadn't handled that well, or with any level of finesse or cool whatsoever. She had a lot of regrets about that time, and truly it had left her in a terrible state for a long time.

The universe certainly had a way of pulling things together in the end, didn't it? Somehow they had ended up in the same place, in the same time. By some other miracle, the pair of them still had feelings so strong it shoved everything else out of their way. She might feel terrible about the way she ended things with Jess, and yeah about how much she'd cheated on her as well, but there was no looking backwards now.

Which begged the question: What came next? Where did they want to go now? It was so important to Rory that she break up with Jess because it was best for her, individually, but that didn't take away from the fact that there was a definite we with Maris.

"Thank you," She said, making a little face when Maris told her she was amazing. She didn't feel it, but the fact that Maris felt that way meant more to her than anything. "I'm free." She said, a smile edging on her lips as she fully looked at the other woman. She turned her face towards her hand, her own raised up to hold it as she kissed her palm. "I didn't even mean to come straight here, I just suddenly was on your doorstep." She chuckled a little, kissing her hand again before she leaned back just to hold her hand. "I didn't want to be anywhere else but with you."

"I'm glad you did." And despite the situation, she meant it. Seeing Rory upset might have made Maris uncomfortable, but she was glad the other woman wasn't going through it alone. Solitude sometimes only made bad moods worse.

"You're saving me from chores." She gestured toward the laundry basket of towels resting against the couch.

She took Rory's other hand in hers to give them both a squeeze. "Stay. After our trip all I've really wanted is a home cooked meal. Now I have an excuse to make one."

Since she was worried about things going bad while they were away, Maris hadn't done her weekly grocery shopping before their vacation. Considering they stayed longer than planned, it had probably been a smart decision, but she hadn't gone to the store since returning, either. Her cupboards were slightly bare, but Maris was sure she could whip up something for the two of them.

Truthfully, Rory knew that if she had just gone home to her own devices, she would have likely spiraled. She likely would have gotten so in her head about her decision and with it, gone so deeply into some off-handed idea of what this all meant that it would have done neither of them any good. She was relieved to be here with Maris, and all the more so as comforting as she was. It meant the world to her, truly.

"Oh, I'm glad to do that." She said with a small smile, biting her lower lip and looking down at their hands. Rory squeezed back, holding fast onto her. "A home cooked meal is always good coming from you." Rory felt more at ease the longer they were sitting there. The farther away she got from the event, the freer she felt. In a couple of hours, she figured she'd feel all the more so.

Rory's gaze fixed on Maris for a moment before she leaned in and kissed her, softly. "Thank you." She said again, more earnest than before. Her fingers brushed over her neck, her thumb along her jaw as she leaned her forehead against hers. "You know it's hard for me to feel weak or needy. I appreciate that you let me be anyway."

The kiss eased her worries in a way words couldn't. Maris knew Rory would never lie to her, but it was proof that she didn't regret her decision. She'd been somewhat convinced that the other woman would pull away from her, especially intimately because their intimacy was kind of what had gotten them into their current predicament in the first place. There had also been slightly lesser fears that being with Rory would feel different once the burden of being someone's soon to be wife was off her shoulders. Would it be less thrilling? Would it just feel...off now that they were out of whatever they had fallen into?

But it was a kiss the same as any of the others, though a tad hesitant on Maris' end for fear of overwhelming Rory when she was in the middle of her own personal storm. Deep down, she knew that with time, kissing Rory would be better than ever. There would be no dark clouds over them anymore.

She'd shouldered some of Rory's worry since they arrived, but the furrowing of her brow had lessened as they parted, a soft but genuine smile gracing Maris' features.

"I didn't know how to make much of anything before you."

Maris had really made an effort to learn to cook once she and Rory started spending most of their evenings together. She'd remained grateful for it even when they had been apart, but she was especially thankful right now.

A homecooked meal could lift a person's spirits better than almost anything else, even if she didn't know what she was going to be able to whip up.

"Sit, watch some tv. I'll make something."

After poking around her fridge, Maris found a carton of eggs she didn't remember buying. It was half full and still in date so she shrugged and went about making some cheese omelettes, then a few glasses of orange juice from the same juicer she'd had in her old apartment. Fresh juice was something of a thing with Maris. She often complained she couldn't stand anything out of a carton and had made the same drink for Rory countless times before even when her cooking skills were still awful and dialing the local diner for pancakes was the only thing in her culinary repertoire.

She brought everything out to Rory on a tray that was slightly too small to fit everything on it.

"You don't have to be anything around me, you know," she said, carefully placing their drinks on the coffee table to make more room. "Strong or...." She'd reflected a lot on what Rory said while preparing their meal. "Just you. That's all I want."

Throughout every (considerably) painful moment all of this wrought, Rory just kept thinking about how free it would feel. She expected a certain level of guilt and pain to eek in for a while, but then it would subside, and she'd be left with a freedom to do exactly what she wanted to do. And every thing she wanted happened to revolve around the woman next to her. The difference between her connection with Maris and the one she'd had with Jess wasn't something she could even articulate. Maris was simply it. That proverbial it that people wished for or dreamed about. She wasn't willing to lose out on that, on her again.

Kissing her felt like a step towards what she needed, finally. She felt like she could breathe easier, her muscles stopped tensing so much. It was done and now ... well, now they had time to figure everything out.

It wasn't just Maris that might be having worries about what came next. It had kept Rory up more than a few nights, wondering after all was said and done with Jess, if the "magic" might wear off. They weren't going to have to be sneaking around, there would not be some other looming "problem" to grapple with. Now it was just the two of them, and their own issues to work out. In a way, that was even scarier... but also kind of exhilarating. She supposed there was no reason to be brave save for in the face of things that truly scared a person.

"I'm glad something stuck." She chuckled, letting her hand squeeze Maris' arm before she took off for the kitchen. Rory hadn't eaten all day, her stomach was too in knots, but now the hunger started to set in.

Kicking off her shoes, she sat cross legged on the couch to flip through channels. She settled on a Brooklyn 99 marathon - something light and easy to either watch or ignore.

"Now, look at that omelette fold. I'm so impressed." She said in an attempt to be light when Maris returned. It might have fallen a little flat, but what Maris told her felt like everything she needed to hear. She nodded, feeling nearly overwhelmed with emotion from such a simple gesture. "Thank you." She said simply, more for the words than the food - though it did look amazing.

That was just another thing Maris was giving her - the freedom to just be. She leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, squeezing her hand in hers as she lingered there a moment longer. "I want you. Like this, like anything. I'm not..." She paused, making sure to catch her eye. "I'm not going to fuck this up again."

"But is there anything to fuck up?" Maris asked softly, hoping Rory didn't take her question the wrong way. She was hardly the sort of person who demanded some sort of what are we talk from her lovers and expecting an answer from Rory now, while she was slogging through the mess that was a broken relationship didn't seem wise or even fair, but it seemed important to talk about what happened next, even though Maris supposed she had made her intentions pretty clear on the beach.

She wanted to be with Rory, however long it took for them to sort it all out.

She just wanted to make sure they were on the same page.

"I mean, I know it'll take time, but..." She tipped up Rory's chin with her thumb. "I want to be together again." She blushed a bit, hating how cheesy and vulnerable she was about to sound, but she needed to say it. Or, well mumble it.

"Yours again."

Maris' question did give her a little surge of a panic that lasted a brief moment, but it posed an interesting thought as well. From the tone of her voice, she didn't think that she had to worry that Maris was going to drop her, this, at a moment's notice. Now that the thrill of their affair didn't have to be there anymore. Rory found it not an ounce less thrilling being with her. Right now, she should be in some depths of despair and guilt, but the longer she sat with Maris, the more calm she felt. She knew this was the right decision, but feeling right about it was entirely different.

Rory knew how hard it was for Maris to be vulnerable, to say the mushy things - which, with that, she knew how much she meant them when she said them. Looking at the other woman, she didn't shy away from her gaze. She met her head on, smiling softly at the color in her cheeks. "Yeah?"

She asked rhetorically, her smile bursting across her face as her hands reached forward and squeezed one of Maris', the other resting on her thigh. "Mine again." She repeated, leaning forward enough so her nose brushed over hers, her lips close. "I want that too." She affirmed, punctuating her comment with a soft kiss, then another that lingered longer. Kissing her made the world feel brighter, if she were going to get poetic and flowery about it.

"Honestly, I think if you really look at it, I've always been yours. Or it's felt that way." She said as soon as she leaned back enough to catch her gaze again. Rory bit at her lower lip, hating how cheesy she sounded. "I never want to miss you again. Whatever pain I've caused or discomfort this is ... it's worth it to have you, fully."

Rory's words hit Maris square in the chest, but she as usual, did her best to keep her composure. There was no stopping the urge to kiss Rory though and Maris let her lips say what words couldn't at the moment. Three not so little ones came to mind as they often did these days but it still wasn't quite the right time yet.

The kiss turned to another and another and another but once one caused Maris' elbow to bang into her nearby glass (which thankfully only rattled a bit rather than landing on her cream colored carpets), she remembered the food she'd prepared.

"You have me," she said with a firm nod, hoping her conviction and sincerity came through before she picked up her fork, using it to gesture toward Rory's plate. "Now eat. Nobody likes cold eggs."